I will not let Bellamy Blake affect me
by caslouise
Summary: "He was so close that I could count the freckles smattering across his nose, a seemingly innocent aspect of the seething person that towered above me." CG. Perhaps Clarke Griffin had made the wrong assumption about Bellamy Blake? Set Mid-end of the season with vaguely similar plot points but also pretty 'wherever it goes i guess' (-: M for later possibilities x
1. Chapter 1 - I really want a bath

All I wanted was a bath. A seriously long one, with hot scalding water and something rough to slough my skin with. I felt stupid really, my stomach was growling with hunger, the meagre berries that stained my chapped lips blood red were seemingly doing nothing to ease the emptiness that stretched inside of me. Then there was the threat of grounders, it was a miracle Jasper even survived, and then there was Murphy, banished and probably already torn to pieces. But hell, I really wanted a bath. I stretched my fingertips out in front of me, scrubbing them with the grainy plant mixture that Monty and I had concocted to keep hands sterile for surgery. I wanted to tip the bowl over my head and scrub my body, remove the grime and pain that had grown upon me ever since our arrival. Not to mention the traces Finn's skin had left upon mine, I could still feel his fingers trailing down my spine, digging into my hips, what I wouldn't give to scour my skin clean of his touch. I tugged a lank golden piece of hair between my fingers and squeezed my eyes shut. I needed a bath.

A groan from the table beside me snapped me out of my reverie and I quickly smoothed my hands down my thighs, removing the excess liquid and turning to where Octavia lay on the cool surface of the metal table.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, brushing her hair back off her face and pressing the back of my hand to her forehead.

"Yeah, alright," She sighed, pressing her hands to her abdomen, "Honestly I don't think it's anything, just cramps, which is frankly ridiculous, we shouldn't have to deal with this rubbish as well as the possibility of imminent death."

I laughed, "O your positivity is beautiful. But I agree, at least the cramps are as bad as it gets, the implants prevent the other symptoms."

"Thank goodness having a stranger gouge a chunk of flesh out of my arm had an upside." Octavia replied, pulling herself into a sitting position and stretching her arms out to her toes.

I hopped up beside her, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes, "God, what I wouldn't give for a bath right now."

O was silent for a moment before I felt her weight leave the table, "Let's go!" She said excitedly and I removed my hands from my eyes, "Seriously Clarke, let's go, Bell doesn't have to know and we'll be back real quick!"

I surveyed her for a second, her eyes were more excited than I had felt in days, "Bellamy would kill me if he found out I'd put you in danger," I sighed, but excitement had started to trickle through me.

"He'd kill us both I reckon." She replied sending me a strange grin.

I raised my eyebrows at her, "The boy would probably jump at the chance to punch me in the face."

She laughed flipping her hair off her shoulder, "Nah, he couldn't hurt our only medic."

"I don't know O," I ran my fingers through my hair, I really wanted a bath, but was it worth the risk?

"Please Clarke!" She grabbed my hands and tugged me to my feet, "Come on, we'll be fine!"

I knew she'd convinced me, even before she'd started speaking. My skin was beginning to itch as the memories of Finn had surfaced, bubbling within me, a mingling of regret and betrayal. I felt stupid for falling for his charming, charismatic personality, I felt stupid for letting myself feel more than I should have and for reading too much into a simple act of spontaneous passion. It's not that I hated him, but god, my hands shook and my knuckles ached to make contact with his face. He'd caused me to doubt myself, to doubt who I'd thought Clarke Griffin was and that was worse than any cruel acts he could have done himself. I knew that if I was in Raven's position I would not remain by his side as she was currently doing. I had a lot of respect for her and I felt guilty for inflicting pain onto her.

I squeezed my eyes shut briefly to clear my mind and turned to Octavia, "Alright, let's go. Should we bring Raven and some of the other girls with us?"

"Yeah, maybe?" Doubt briefly flickered through her eyes, insinuating that she had more of an idea of my situation of Raven and Finn that I was aware of, "Maybe just Raven, any more people and we might draw too much attention?"

I tried to appear completely at ease, "Yeah, sounds good, I'll go and get her, you get whatever stuff you need together!"

She beamed at me and darted down the ladder and out of the drop ship, a skip in her step.

I was suddenly very appreciative of our growing friendship, she was someone whom I had started to put a lot of trust in and it was nice to have a friend, especially after the recent loss of the only one I'd really had on Earth since Wells.

It didn't take me that long to find Raven and thankfully she wasn't in the presence of her boyfriend, something that send an almost staggering wave of relief through my body.

"Hey Raven," I greeted ducking into the tent where she was working on creating functioning bullets.

She glanced up at me surprised and a little wary, "Oh, hi Clarke, did you need some bullets?"

"Oh, no. Octavia and I were going to head down to the river to take a quick bath and I figured it might be something you'd appreciate?" I inwardly cringed as I realized that it almost sounded like a stab at her.

Her surprised expression remained and I waited for her to decline. But instead she seemed to overcome an internal battle and place the bullets down, rising to her feet and wiping her palms on her legs, "That's the best offer I've had in a while." She replied sending me a small smile.

I smiled tentatively back, pushing down the mixture of emotions that were threatening to cascade from my mouth, "Great, grab your stuff, Bellamy is probably 'distracted' in his tent so now's the best time to get away."

"Sure," she shrugged, grabbing a jacket and tucking a knife into the waistband of her jeans, "I only really have these clothes, so I'm good to go."

I nodded, "Yeah, we're meeting O at the gate in five, I've just got to grab my jacket from the tent, so I'll meet you there."

After exiting to the sent I exhaled a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding, twisting my fingers together, I made my way toward where the tent I shared with Finn, Raven, Jasper and Monty was situated. It wasn't the best of circumstances but considering that accommodation was very limited and night-time brought with it frigid temperatures, it was the best we could hope for. I knew that Bellamy had a tent to himself which mildly irritated me for a while but I figured that was simply because everyone was too afraid to share with him, although obviously not temporarily. Unfortunately while I was distractedly thinking these thoughts I didn't realize that the man himself had just emerged from his tent (shirtless as per usual), and I had accidentally stepped right in his path.

"Watch where you're going princess." He smirked, spearing his fingers through his unruly loose curls and stretching his arm above his head, elongating his long lean body and giving me a good view of his chest.

I frowned at him, disoriented, "Sorry," I muttered, ducking around him, not wanting to lengthen the conversation with the risk of giving away my guilt.

"Hey," his fingers wrapped around my wrist sharply, tugging me around to face him, "We need to discuss the grounder situation."

I hesitated, meeting his cool brown eyes, "Perhaps later, after you've attended to your guest." I drawled sarcastically, nodding my head toward where a slim brunette girl, whose name I had forgotten was exiting his tent.

He appeared to have a type I'd noticed, not that I of course, cared. They were all slim and brunette, with tanned skin and gorgeous figures. It baffled me that in a group of one hundred delinquents he'd still managed to establish a type and manage to seduce them all.

He raised his eyebrows at me, an arrogant smirk pulling the side of his mouth, "Ah is our princess pure in that sense as well as all the others?" he mocked, releasing my hand and dropping his arm around the girls' waist, pressing his fingers into her side and kissing the side of her neck.

"You're disgusting." I snapped, turning on heel and marching toward my tent, a burning flush making its way up my neck.

How could he act that way in front of people? The way he looked at that girl was with pure lust and objectification, like she was there to sate his sexual desires and nothing more. Although, I realized, the girl probably wanted exactly the same thing. In a way I didn't blame them, the problem was only when one party didn't realize as such. His touch on the girls' hip had reminded me of Finn's hands on my waist and the anger and embarrassment I had felt toward him had been mis-aimed. Part of me had wanted to defend his 'pure' comment, I was _not _a prude or any of the other horrible words that had probably been twisting around his ignorant brain. The other part of me knew that I had nothing to prove to Bellamy Blake and I wasn't going to start defending myself now.


	2. Chapter 2 - Maybe not the best idea ever

**Heya guys! Firstly thank you to whoever is reading this, please let me know in reviews if there's anything you particularly like/would like to happen and I'll see what I can do! Also since I only uploaded tonight I thought I'd put up another chapter, even though it's a quick one, just so you can get more of an idea. **

**Enjoy xx**

It didn't take long for Octavia, Raven and I to reach the river. We stripped off our clothes and dropped them on a warm rock by the shoreline, being careful to remain in the more shallow section of the water. Despite being total strangers to one another, none of us were particularly inclined to act reserved around each other, we were all females and this was Earth. We stripped quickly and slipped into the cool water, sighing in relief as the chilly water washed over our flesh. I picked up a stone I recognized from one of my mum's journals as pummis and rubbed the stone along my arms and legs and groaning as the pain in my feet began to subside. We'd also managed to combine a small bowl of plants and aloe that we'd discovered to create something similar to a shampoo, which we shared around sparingly. I couldn't help but feel almost self-conscious as I glimpsed the lean, toned, tanned bodies of my friends. My body was fair and soft, I'd always been slim but my stomach wasn't firm and I pressed a palm against it, wondering whether this was why Bellamy had a type. It seemed unfair to myself to compare myself to the expectations of a man whose opinion shouldn't affect me but I couldn't help but consider it. Finn had, after all, been dating Raven Reyes, who was a gorgeous, strong girl who epitomised the opposite of me, Clarke Griffin.

I was shaken out of my despondent reverie by a freezing wave of water that sluiced across my face.

I gasped and looked over to where Raven and Octavia had embarked on a water fight and had decided to include me in it. O laughed loudly, slapping her palm against the water again and watching as a wave arched over and hit me across the chest. I let out a squeak and hoisted a stone across next to her, causing a mini tidal wave to knock her off balance.

The water fight lasted all of five freezing minutes, before Octavia, claiming that she definitely had gotten a bruise from one of the splashes, dashed toward the shore to retrieve her clothing. Raven and I laughed helping each other up the bank and grabbing our own clothes. Thankfully we dried off relatively quickly, except our hair which trailed cold water down the back of our shirts.

"Oh boy, that was the best idea ever!" Raven exclaimed as we trudged back through the undergrowth, the happiest any of us had been in a long while.

"More like the most reckless fucking idea ever."

I felt a shiver trail down my spine that had nothing to do with the water dripping from my hair; his voice had the strange ability to either comfort, anger or unnerve me. The latter was hard at work currently.

"Bell!" Octavia exclaimed, skipping toward her brother, putting on her best pleading sister face, "It's alright we were fine, and we all had knives with us and Clarke-"

"I don't give a fuck whether Clarke built a bulletproof fence around you," He hissed, cutting her off, "You went outside the gate without any protection whatsoever from grounders, without talking to me first and you expect me to be okay with that?"

His whole body was almost shaking in anger, his knuckles clenched so tightly around the cool metal of his gun that I almost felt sure that he was going to snap it in half. His entire body was coiled and tense, as his eyes flickered between us, landing finally on me, with a look of such cold accusation that I wanted to cower away.

"You," He snarled stalking toward me, "Where the hell is your responsibility? You want to be in charge, yet you create rules that you break yourself."

He was so close that I could count the freckles smattering across his nose, a seemingly innocent aspect of the seething person that towered above me, "The rule was no one could leave the camp unprotected, and we_ are_ capable of defending ourselves, not to mention that we've never seen evidence of grounders on the trail we took, nor at the section of the river we stopped at." I snarled back, a boiling hot anger beginning to flood through me.

I was sick of watching people cower under the unfaltering glare of Bellamy, I was not afraid of him.

He clenched his jaw, and for a moment his eyes softened as they flickered up to my wet hair, but it was soon replaced by the cold glare, "You put not only yourself as our only medic but also my sister and our best engineer in danger, so the next time you decide to be a all high and mighty individual princess, do _not _drag my sister or anyone else into it. I only require your skills in the camp, your happiness is inconsequential to me and everyone else, so next time I will fucking handcuff you to the medical bay."

With that he turned on heel and grabbed Octavia's arm, despite her protests, and dragged her back in the direction of the camp.

Pain cracked through my body and I dug my nails into my palm, aware that I was drawing blood. His words sliced through my heart like hot knives, the anger in his eyes had sparked a strange pain in my chest that refused to budge.

"Ignore him," Raven said, resting her hand on my shoulder, "Seriously Clarke, that guy is a complete overprotective psycho whose only priority is himself and Octavia."

I tried to smile, but I knew it wasn't very convincing, "Thanks Raven, typical of him to ruin everything good."

The happiness that had soared through my body seemed like a lifetime ago and I tried to distract myself as we headed back to the camp. I wasn't succeeding in not letting Bellamy Blake affect me.


	3. Chapter 3 - Integral to our survival

**Updates aren't always going to be this quick, but I felt inclined to upload this since I'd already written it (-: The next chapters will have more Bellarke & I'm hoping to delve a little into the sickness epidemic in 1x10 although that will probably be in a few chapters. I hope you're enjoying it so far and thank you SO MUCH to those of you who reviewed, they motivate me to continue! **

**x **

It was oddly comforting to sit around the campfire, holding my palms up to the fiery warmth, being so close to something so destructive, yet taming it to be something trustworthy. Jasper, who was beside me, passed me a bowl of crushed berries and nuts, smiling in encouragement, "It's tasty I swear, there's some new nuts in there that Monty and I discovered this morning, and don't worry we double checked that they're safe."

I smiled appreciatively at him, taking the bowl and using my fingers to lift some to my lips; it was surprisingly sweet, almost decadent, like a treat and I savoured the taste on my tongue. It was small victories like this that made living on Earth worth continuing, knowing that we had the capabilities within our group to be creative and successful.

"Thanks Jasper, this is actually really good!" I grinned, more sincerely this time and Jasper, seemingly satisfied launched into another topic.

"Monty and I have managed to acquire a tent with another of the guys who had a tent to himself, so I figure that'll be more room for you, Finn and Raven," He exclaimed, obviously considering this a positive, "Look, I know it may be awkward them being a couple and all, but it's not like they would do anything while you're there!"

I knew he was trying to help, but I couldn't prevent the smile from slipping from my lips. He had no idea of what had happened between Finn and I, of course that was no fault of his own, but for once I wished I had divulged that information with someone.

"Oh," I tried to pull the positivity back into my voice as convincingly as possible, "That should be fine!"

He eyed me for a moment, sensing my discomfort, "You sure?"

"Yeah!" I replied, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

"Cool," He grinned, wrapped his fingers around my shoulder, "It'll be fine Clarke, they'll both be cool with it."

I nodded in agreement as he stood up, "I'm going to grab my things, see you later!"

I tried to calm to whirring of my heartbeat as I scooped the rest of the food into my mouth; suddenly they were too sweet and I had to press my fingers to my lips to prevent myself from gagging. There was no way I was going to share a tent with Finn and Raven by myself, no way in hell.

I weaved my way through the tents until I got to the one I'd called home since arriving on Earth, it wasn't much but the familiarity of its shape and scent made me ache as I gathered together my meagre belongings and rolled them inside my thin blanket. I inhaled once more, realizing that the strongest scent of all was that of Finn, his sweet, soft smell, like cool early mornings.

Crinkling up my nose I left the tent, heading up toward the medical bay. Most of the injuries that occurred were minor so no one really stayed in the medical bay itself, probably because the drop ship was absolutely freezing at night and there was no real room to lie down apart from the cool, unforgiving table. I had almost reached the entrance when I felt a hand on my shoulder, pulling me around to face them.

I almost turned and ran.

It was Finn.

He smiled softly, like everything was okay, "Where are you off to?"

"Medical bay," I replied stonily, we hadn't communicated a lot since Raven had arrived and I didn't want that to change now.

He sighed, detecting the cool edge to my voice, "Look Clarke, I really need to apologise and talk to you about—"

"I don't want to hear it." I said, shaking my shoulder so that his arm fell back to his side.

I'd known this moment was coming, I'd replayed it over and over in my head and that was enough to make this conversation already, extremely repetitive.

"Clarke—"he started again, reaching out those fingers, to rest on my arm.

I swear they burnt holes in my skin, and not pleasant ones either, the kind that send shivers of repulsion through my body, repulsion for myself, for my decision to leap into bed with a taken boy. Even though I hadn't known that was the case.

"Look Finn, to put it plainly, I don't particularly want to be around you right now, but as that's pretty much impossible with our living conditions, I want to only see you when strictly necessary. Clear? So I'm moving elsewhere to sleep so you and Raven can have the tent all to yourselves." I took a deep breath, ignoring the hurt that was flickering through his eyes and the quake in my voice, "And please don't think about apologizing again, I get that you fucked up with me, but you are Raven's family, and she loves you, please do not fuck that up."

I realized it had been a while since I'd used such language, particularly twice in one moment; but I wasn't sure how else to be clear to Finn and remain calm simultaneously, without screaming like a banshee. The image of myself completely losing it and wailing at him caused a strangled laugh to make its way up my throat and I had to cough to prevent it from leaving my lips.

Finn's eyes were pleading, "Please Clarke—"

"Wow Spacewalker, you really do not understand when a girl is telling you to back the hell off." Bellamy sauntered up to me, his arms crossed, amusement and a trace of annoyance touching his lips.

"This is absolutely none of your business." Finn replied, clenching his fists and stepping toward Bellamy.

The amusement dissipated from Bellamy's eyes and his lip curled as he stepped toward Finn, "It is my business if someone is being harassed within _my _camp, especially if the victim is integral to our survival and the harasser can be easily disposed of."

_Integral to our survival. _I realized standing there near the two bickering boys that I had never felt more alone than I did now. My closest friend had been killed, my new friend had used me and my fellow leader didn't even seem to realize that I was actually a human being. I felt like a cast that would be removed when the break had healed or an automatic weapon with three bullets to destroy three threats.

I felt sure that one of them was going to attack the other, but Finn simply glared at Bellamy, "Your superiority only exists because delinquents follow your cruelty."

Bellamy snickered, "Yes, but they still follow me, and spacewalker, if I don't like you, neither will every other man with a gun."

At that, Finn paled, glancing toward me as if looking for my support, when I didn't offer it up he took a deep breath, "When you need me, you know where I am Clarke." And then he was gone.

I breathed a sigh of relief which quickly disappeared when Bellamy decided to stick around.

"So you did actually sleep with spacewalker." His voice was peculiar.

I clenched my teeth, "For once, back off Bellamy." I snapped.

I was not in the mood to recap what had happened in the forest and the sight of him and the way he'd spoken to me still sent weird feelings of unrest through my body.

"No, wait," His fingers caught my wrist for the second time that day, it was gentle, his fingers were rough and calloused, unlike Finn's, "I didn't, ah, that came out wrong."

I turned back, catching his eyes with mine and waited expectantly.

He shoved both his hands through his hair, and avoided my eyes for a moment, "Look, what I said in the forest, that wasn't, I didn't…" He looked to me briefly, as if I was going to provide him with the words he was looking for, "Look, when I found out that you guys were missing I thought something horrible had happened and you've got to understand, I've looked after O ever since she was born and the idea that I'd failed, that I could have lost her, I, I needed someone other than myself to blame."

It was the first time I'd seen real humanity within Bellamy, he'd always fought to keep up his stone wall of masculinity and strength whenever I was around and seeing it begin to slip was something else. But his words still stung, he had decreased my entire worth as a person in one swoop, "I get that Bellamy, I do, but I did not need that today."

He nodded, "Spacewalker? I didn't mean to sound accusatory, I thought that's what had happened but I didn't know about the whole Raven thing."

"Yeah," I replied wryly, "Neither did I."

His forehead furrowed, "That's a really shit thing for him to do to you."

It was nice to hear someone else say it, to reaffirm what I'd been thinking to myself. There were moments when I thought that perhaps I was being ridiculous, that perhaps it wasn't such a big deal, but to hear Bellamy vocalise it and know that he wouldn't just for my benefit was comforting.

I let a small smile creep onto my lips, "There's a bit of that going around."

He stiffened, the defences sliding back up, "I know what I said was really unnecessary, but I should have been told."

I shrugged, "You would have said no."

He opened his mouth to argue and I cut him off, "Look Bellamy, we don't need to argue about this alright, I don't expect you to understand everything I do and I also don't expect you to apologize for something you said, I don't need you sidestepping around my feelings."

He let a small smile creep onto his lips and my stomach took an unexpected nosedive. It was the first time I had been on the receiving end of it, all freckles, lips, and a soft chin dimple, the sharp edges of Bellamy Blake shorn off.

"Whatever you say princess," His eyes switched down to the blanket clutched in my hands, "I hear you need a place to crash."

**Pls review xx**


	4. Chapter 4 - You can have the bed

**Hey guys, I am feeling a little less motivated about this story, it's amazing what reviews can do! Not to sound ungrateful, but knowing that people are following/enjoying this story is always encouragement to continue. Again, thanks to those of you who did, enjoy this chapter xx!**

Aside from Finn, Bellamy was probably the last person I wanted to sleep near; but I was exhausted and the thought of a warm bed was something that I struggled to turn down. Besides, it definitely wasn't fair for him to have an entire tent all to himself when others were struggling to squash together. Those are the excuses I told myself anyway.

"I am not having sex with you." I said abruptly as he opened the flap of his tent and guided me through the entrance, his palm on my lower back disorienting me.

I heard him exhale through his teeth in frustration. His hand leaving my back.

"I only have sex with girls who a) actually really want to sleep with me and b) girls who I actually want to sleep with." He retorted defensively.

I felt like he'd punched me in the stomach. It was enough to assume I was undesirable to some but to have someone like Bellamy openly express the fact winded me. Who the hell did he see me as? A robotic doctor? I didn't want to even contemplate why it affected me more than if Finn had said it.

"Great," I said too coldly, "There will be absolutely no problem then."

"Wait, what I—"He started, confused, catching on that he'd caused some sort of offence.

"Where am I sleeping?" I refused to meet his eyes, instead glancing around the tent at the makeshift bed in the corner, piled with blankets and the belongings strewn in the small space beside it.

"You can have the bed." He replied gesturing gruffly toward the cot.

I didn't even bother to enquire where he was sleeping, exhaustion was suddenly overwhelming and I could feel tears beginning to burn behind my eyes. The kind of tears that come out to play when you least need them, the kind that make things worse.

I tugged off my jacket and collapsed on the pile of blankets, tugging one up under my chin and burying my face into the rags that acted as a pillow; one of them I realized as I buried my nose into it, was one of Bellamy's shirts. It smelt of smoke and wood, running and grass, warmth and his skin. I was out.

I woke early the next morning, to a soft yellowing beam of sunlight slipping through a gap in the opening of the tent. I was momentarily disoriented at how comfortable I was; I had three thick fur blankets rather than just my threadbare sheet and my body was curled up and warm. Lifting my head up I discovered I was not alone. The events of the night before came flooding back to me as I stared at where Bellamy was sprawled across the ground, shirtless, my own blanket the only comfort he appeared to have. Feeling rather guilty I moved slowly lifting one of the thick blankets from my waist and placing over his. I tucked it up over his shoulders, but not before noticing the smattering of brown freckles that ran over the tips of his shoulders and slightly down his shoulder blades, with one or two dotting his spine.

My eyes flickered up to his sleeping face, his lips were opened slightly and a lock of curly hair had fallen across his forehead, giving him the appearance of a much younger boy. It was then I realized just how attractive he was. There was no angry crease denting his forehead and no malicious lines around his eyes. I wondered whether the girls who slept with him appreciated waking up beside this Bellamy just as much as they did touching this Bellamy. I guessed probably not.

I inhaled deeply, squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, trying to clear my mind. This guy was an asshole. An asshole who'd let me, the medic, sleep in his bed for a night. No one wants an exhausted medic.

I climbed slowly to my feet and stretched my arms as high as I could above my head, my fingers only just reaching the ceiling, before I exited the tent.

The morning was icy and I tugged my jacket tighter around my shoulders. The air was almost foggy and I inhaled the biting, sweet air into my lungs, revelling in the feeling of being alive, being present, in a beautiful place. There were a few people guarding the wall and I could hear the low buzz of their voices, too quiet for me to make out any specific words. But apart from that, everything was silent.

It was pleasant to spend the first hour of the day by oneself. There was a difference between being lonely and alone and for me the divide was slowly becoming clearer every day. I almost jumped when Octavia plopped herself down on the log beside me, clutching a wooden bowl of her own, the brown sludgy concoction didn't exactly look becoming and Octavia's expression mirrored that.

"What I wouldn't give for some crappy dehydrated, flavourless Ark crackers." She sighed, poking at it with her fingers.

The corner of my lip quirked up slightly, "It's almost too sweet, right?"

"Yeah," She laughed, twisting her long hair into a knot at her neck whilst she scooped it into her mouth, "I hope you didn't let what my idiot brother said yesterday get to you."

I shrugged, trying to look casual, "Nah, he also let me sleep in his tent last night."

She choked violently, and for a few moments I had to slap her back, amused by her reaction.

"You what!?" She stared at me wide eyed, "After what he said, you just _slept _with him?"

I frowned, shaking my head vehemently, "God no! I ah, ended up with no place to sleep and so he offered up half of his tent. Of course I wouldn't sleep with him, he's a pain in the ass."

She beamed at me, pleased by my hostility, "I love him to bits but he needs someone to stand up to him, and seriously Clarke don't let him push you around,"

"Not going to happen."

"Good, because he acts differently around you, and I'm not sure what it is but I think you scare him," She admitted, scraping the remnants of her food into her mouth, "He's not used to people who aren't afraid of him, and he likes it."

I wasn't sure what exactly she meant by that, but whatever it was it pleased me. Bellamy Blake afraid of me? Good.

Bellamy POV

I'd woken to find my bed empty and my back stiff and aching from sleeping on the uneven ground for the entire night. An extra blanket was tucked up around my neck and I'd briefly wandered how it came to be there. Momentarily disoriented I'd groaned, running a hand over my stiff muscles and rolled over into the vacated bed and fallen back to sleep, my nose buried in the scent of grassy soap, berries, softness and her. Clarke didn't appear to want to discuss or even indicate that anything had transpired when I'd first seen her sitting by the fire with my sister, so I decided to ignore that it had ever happened. It felt unusual to me to be in such a situation, Clarke had been in a strange mood and I'd pitied her. It was an unusual side of hers that I wasn't accustomed to seeing, weakness. It hadn't occurred to me to do anything other than offer her a bed to sleep in.

I felt strangely disappointed that she hadn't made any attempt to speak to me, her blue eyes had avoided mine, hidden behind a wall of blonde hair and distaste. Somehow knowing that she disliked me, made me intent on proving to her that I was worth her respect.

Miller, Roma, Clarke, Jasper and I made a combined decision to head out in search of resources. We were running exceptionally low and our resources were becoming more and more depleted every single day, not to mention that winter was approaching with terrifying speed and we needed to stock up immediately. I had sent Miller and Roma off in one direction whilst Jasper, Clarke and I tramped in the opposite direction.

It didn't take long for us to track down an animal we'd learnt was a rabbit, it's long ears were something I knew Octavia would rather stroke and cuddle than slaughter with an arrow – but we had to survive and we couldn't afford to be picky.

"Jasper!" Clarke's excited voice split the silence in half, and the rabbit tore through the undergrowth, disappearing over the hill.

I clenched my teeth in annoyance and spun around to find her crouched over what appeared to me to just be a bunch of greenery, but then Jasper dropped to a crouch beside her and grinned hugely, touching the leaves with the tips of his fingers.

"Check this out Bellamy!" he called, beckoning me over, "These are like, edible vegetables, and there's tonnes of them! They could be used in soups and salads and anything and we could probably grow our own!"

I had just stepped over to investigate when something snapped to my right, followed by a whistling. I just had time to drop to the ground next to Clarke, almost causing her to overbalance before a spear thwacked into the tree beside me.

"RUN!" I yelled, yanking her to her feet and shoving her and Jasper back toward the direction our camp, panic burning through my body.

Jasper hoisted his gun off his back and into his hands, but I barely had time to make sure that they were running before something solid smacked into my side. The grounder, evidently disadvantaged without his spear had simply attacked me. We grappled for a second, nails scraping at the skin on my arms and any exposed skin. I growled, heaving my gun up and cracking him around the back with it, which only seemed to enrage him further. Screaming, he reached around and grabbed a handful of my hair, smashing my head onto the ground. Stars flickered across my vision and I swung blindly with my fist, making solid contact with what felt like an ear.

"Bellamy!" I heard her scream. She wasn't far enough away.

Reaching for any remaining strength I kicked into the grounder. Unfortunately, it retained his grip on my shirt and we both rolled, once and then twice, my hands scrabbling at his face, his eyes, before I felt a blinding pain in my side. Then the ground disappeared beneath me.

Clarke POV

I turned back just in time to see the grounder roll off the edge of a steep recline, it's hands still twisted in Bellamy's clothing, "Bellamy!" I screamed again as he disappeared over the edge.


	5. Chapter 5 - Agony

**Thanks for the kind reviews from those who did! It's great to know that people are interested in continuing this story (-: Apologies for any grammar mistakes, I generally write the chapters in one go because inspiration hits in random bouts, and I am not as meticulous because I'm more relaxed as it's just for enjoyment. **

Clarke POV

"BELLAMY!" The screams tore from my throat as I stumbled toward the edge of the decline, Jasper hot on my heels.

"Clarke be careful!" He warned, grabbing my arm before I plunged over the edge.

Thankfully, the drop itself wasn't particularly far nor as steep as I had first assumed, but since neither of them had been prepared for the fall, the thought didn't comfort me in the slightest.

"We have to go down and get him!" I said immediately, dropping my legs over the edge and carefully lowering myself down.

Jasper didn't argue, and cautiously moved down the rocky hillside beside me. Rocks and stones dug into my back, I could feel them cutting into my skin and my palms. Suddenly, a bunch of stones gave way beneath my feet and I began to slide downwards quickly, scrabbling with my hands for something to clutch onto. My heart leapt into my throat and I just managed to hook my fingers around a thorny branch just before I fell face first into the dust. Jasper dropped to the ground beside me, helping me to my feet, his worried eyes flickering to a dark lump.

Bellamy and the grounder were lying a little way off, the grounders still body, covering Bellamy's. There was no sign of movement. My hands began to shake and my heart felt as if it had come to a standstill, I almost vomited.

We staggered over and Jasper hauled the grounder's body off, dumping it onto the ground and pressing his fingers to his throat, "Dead." He stated, relief colouring his tone.

But I wasn't paying attention, my fingers desperately sought Bellamy's throat, pressing into the cool skin, my own heart practically re-starting when I felt the flutter of a pulse, "He's alive!"

I exhaled heavily, pressing my hands to his cheeks, to his forehead, his warm freckles suddenly stark against his pale skin, "Bellamy? Bellamy, can you hear me?"

"Shit Clarke," Jasper's panic sent a knife of dread through my skin, "He's been stabbed."

The knife had evidently come free in the fall, but dark blood was beginning to stain the navy material of his shirt, a long thin hole visible just above the wound which sliced the skin just above his hip.

I examined it briefly, "It doesn't look too deep, but he's losing blood Jasper, we have to get him back immediately."

Jasper's eyes met mine and I knew that he didn't think Bellamy would make it.

"Clarke—" he started quietly, resting a comforting hand on my arm, "I think it'll be too late, look at his skin, and the movement of getting him back to camp is not going to help."

I clenched my teeth, "I can stem the blood for now, but you have to help me carry him because we _are _going to get him back, he is not going to die."

Jasper seemed to realize that I wasn't going to give up and he nodded firmly, pulling his knife out of his pocket and cutting the bottom section of Bellamy's already ruined shirt and handing me the handful of material, "Do what you gotta do."

I wrapped the material tightly around his waist, feeling his taut muscles beneath my fingers and ignoring the burn that was beginning to start in the corners of my eyes, I tied a knot and made sure that there was adequate pressure on the wound.

"This is the best I can do for now," I said, "We have to go."

Together we managed to drag him to his feet and carry his weight between the two of us, Jasper shouldering most of it and me pressing my hand to the wound in hopes of keeping the material in place as we moved.

"Ugh-"A groan left Bellamy's lips as we began to make our way around the bottom of the hillside, searching for a way up, "My head."

Jasper sent me a worried look, "His head?"

"He would've hit it in the fall, that's why he was unconscious."

"Can't keep your hands off me princess?" His slurred voice sounded from beside me and I glanced up, meeting his unfocused eyes, the glaze of agony paining me.

"Yeah you wish," I choked, a mixture of laughter and relief catching in my throat.

"Yeah." He laughed, wincing in obvious pain.

For the most part he remained unconscious, dropping and out of consciousness when an unexpected jolt reignited the pain that was obviously flooding through his veins.

"Clarke," Jasper said, his breath becoming ragged, "He's been unconscious for a solid ten minutes now."

"I know," I replied, not wanting to let my doubt show, "It's alright we're back."

"Open the gate!" Jasper yelled, "And come out and help!"

Miller, and another boy I recognized as one of Bellamy's closer friends, raced out through the gates, and relieved us of his weight, carrying him easily between the two of them. I wondered briefly when Miller had returned with Roma.

"Clarke come on!" Jasper yelled, towing me toward the drop ship.

"Bell!" Octavia's wail sliced through the camp and she raced after him into the dropship, "Oh god Bell!"

"Everyone move," I ordered, entering the drop ship and pushing everyone out of my way until I was beside the table where Miller had placed Bellamy, "Right, Jasper grab me the bowl of seaweed, O, if you can't keep it together please leave, if not grab me the needle and thread, he needs stitches now."

Octavia took a deep breath, swiping the tears out from under her eyes and sending me a determined look, "I can do it."

"Good." I sent her a firm, reassuring smile, before placing a cool rag on Bellamy's forehead, his skin hot, his damp curls sticking to his neck and face, pain contorting his expression.

I carefully peeled the material away from his wound, carefully wiping the blood away from the wound, relieved to find that the bleeding that slowed. The material of the remaining shirt was sticking to his skin so gripping it in both hands I ripped it up the centre, pulling it off his body, giving me a clear work space.

Jasper stepped up beside me holding a bowl of natural disinfectant we'd created, and helped me to dip a clean rag into it so I was able to properly clean the wound, before pressing a combination of crushed plantation we'd found to have healing properties, into the wound itself.

"Octavia, you need to get his temperature down," I demanded, "Keep the cold compress on his forehead and try and get him to drink some water or eat some of this." I offered her the small bowl of crushed green plantation, when we'd rushed to save Finn's life, we'd discovered that it effectively brought temperatures down.

I briefly pondered how incredible nature was, to provide us with things that could heal, almost as well as the chemically created healing agents my mother had been involved in building in the laboratory back on the Ark.

"Okay," She nodded, running her fingers down Bellamy's cheek, "Come on Bell." She whispered, trickling water in between his lips.

"Wait," I said, "He will probably wake up whilst I'm stitching him up, so I'll need you, Miller and Jasper to keep him still while I work."

They nodded, Octavia positioning herself near his head and shoulders, whilst Miller took his chest and Jasper his legs.

Carefully, I pierced his skin with the needle, being careful not to dislodge the paste. Immediately, he gasped his entire body tensing, his eyes flying open.

"Bell, Bell calm down," Octavia demanded, pressing her hands into his shoulders and aligning her body so that hers was the only face he could see, "You need to keep really still, Clarke needs to stitch your wound!"

Finally, I managed to successfully get the stitches in place and cover it in seaweed, followed by a white bandage – and Bellamy dropped back into unconsciousness which helped.

"So, he'll be okay?" Octavia asked, pushing his lank hair of his forehead.

I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, "I need to check to see if he has a head wound, and I'm not sure how bad his concussion is, not to mention the possibility that this wound was infected from the beginning."

Her eyes widened.

"Look, if he makes it through the night, I'll be more hopeful." I tried to sound reassuring, but exhaustion and worry was permeating my very soul.

Together with Octavia's help, I lifted his head gently off the table, my fingers gently probing his scull for any sign of injury, trying not to let my fingers linger in his soft curls. Luckily, the only evidence of injury was a slight bump which I ordered Octavia to hold some ice to for a while, just in case.

I carefully washed my own hands in a bowl of warm water, scrubbing Bellamy's blood from my fingers, biting hard onto my tongue to stop the salty tears from escaping my eyes. I so badly didn't want to feel, but seeing his terrified eyes, empty of all the usual coldness and strength, a stripped down version, absolutely afraid, had clutched at my soul, cold and icy.

Ignoring the pain that radiated across my shoulders and down my back, I grabbed and blanket and curled up on a seat nearby to the table where Bellamy lay, "O, wake me if anything changes, okay." I murmured, barely aware of what I was saying, before darkness enveloped me.

**Reviews make my day!**


	6. Chapter 6 - Bickering and Banter

**Yay for a super quick update and my longest chapter yet! I was inspired by those lovely lovely reviews to continue and update more quickly, so here you are! Again thank you so so much to the reviewers, you guys are the best (-: I hope you enjoy! Xx Also yes I do enjoy slowly building the relationship rather than quickly, and I love love when they banter!**

Clarke POV

"God, what the hell did you guys do, stab me again?"

"Stop being so ungrateful Bell, you're lucky to be alive."

"You wouldn't feel grateful if you were me O, I feel like I've been chopped up like a deer, ready to roast on the fire."

"Oh shut up, you know, if it wasn't for Clarke, there is no way in hell you'd be breathing right now, she practically dragged your on-the-brink-of-death ass all the way back to camp and did everything she could to save your pathetic skin."

"I'm sure it wasn't that hard to—"

"I'm serious Bellamy, you were a goner. Jasper said he thought you would definitely die on the journey back, but Clarke refused to let that happen."

"Of course, heroic little princess."

"Bellamy…"

"Alright, I'm grateful, no don't give me that look, I am. I know I'd be a fly infested corpse without her right now okay, you don't need to rub it in, I know I failed, I'm the one meant to be protecting them, now what the hell can I do, I may as well be a corpse."

"Stop being melodramatic Bell, you did protect them, if you hadn't held that grounder off, Clarke and Jasper might be dead right now."

"Doubt it, our princess is too smart to die."

The bickering of the two siblings broke through my sleepy haze and I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, digging my nails into my skin; ungrateful bastard. I didn't want to wake up for fear that Bellamy would retaliate knowing that I had heard things that he probably didn't want me to hear. Plus, I wasn't even sure I'd heard right, sleep was still heavy in my brain. Eventually I drifted off again, the murmuring voices slowly lulling me back into slumber.

I woke later, more refreshed, although the ache in my back hadn't subsided. I lifted myself slowly out of the chair, stretching my arms above my head and yawned widely.

"Ah the princess awakes." Bellamy lay propped up on the table, still shirtless, a healthy glow colouring his cheeks, a smirk turning up the corners of his mouth.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, my voice husky from sleep, making my way over to the table and tugging up the edge of the bandage to inspect the wound.

"Better," He replied watching me, "I uh, hear I have you to thank for that."

I shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes, the wound looked clean and I was relieved to find no sign of infection, "Just doing my job."

He reached out and grabbed a handful of the back of my shirt, the only part of me he could reach as I turned away, "Wait-"

His fingers accidentally pinched skin and I winced, jumping away from his touch.

"Woah, sorry, are you alright?" Concern and confusion filtered through his expression, his hand still hovering in the air between us.

"Yeah, sorry I just I must have a bruise or something," I muttered, confused.

He frowned, reaching toward me and tugging up the bottom of my shirt. His sharp gasp told me that my injuries from the previous day were a little more serious than I'd first thought.

"How the hell could you not realize these existed?" He glared at my back, inspecting the marks, his cool fingers running gently along my skin, probing, "Seriously, you can't just ignore your own pain, this could get infected and you could be seriously ill you idiot."

"Sorry I was a little bit preoccupied saving the life of an imbecile who almost got himself killed," I snapped, slapping his hand away from my skin and sending him an icy glare.

He clenched his jaw, letting his hand drop into his lap, "Well it wasn't my fault that someone started yelling in excitement over a fucking lettuce, giving away our position to everyone in the vicinity."

"It wasn't a lettuce, and they obviously already knew we were there, which should have been impossible since you should have been keeping watch!" I snapped, heat colouring my cheeks, had I really been that loud?

"I'm not the only ones with eyes and ears princess," He retorted, "And-"

"Will you two shut the hell up?" Octavia's groaned, entering the ship, "Seriously, you help save each other's lives and begin arguing about it? It was the grounder who attacked you, the grounder is at fault. Clear? Clarke, come here and let me look at your back."

We fell silent, I could feel Bellamy fuming beside me.

Not game enough to argue with Octavia, I let her tug my shirt up and over my head, wincing when pain jolted through my shoulders. She held a reflective piece of metal behind me, allowing me to access the damage. Purpling blue discolouration covered most of my back, with small cuts spotting the darker areas, obviously the rocks on the hillside had been sharper than I'd realized at the time.

"Ouch," I murmured, sighing, I wasn't used to being the one with the injuries.

"Do you want me to dress the cuts?" Octavia inquired, sending me a sympathetic look, "I'm guessing there's not much we can do about the bruising."

"Yeah please, that'd be great." I replied, sitting on the edge of the table, Bellamy's boot just resting against my lower back.

Bellamy's POV

I watched Octavia gently dress the wounds on Clarke's back, clenching my fists at my side, a strange feeling coming over me, "If you had gotten to them earlier you could've prevented the severity of the bruising, how did that happen anyway?"

How could she be so reckless with her own health? Her pain gave me the same feeling as the other night when I'd offered her a place to sleep; it seemed necessary to _do _something, to fix whatever hurt she was feeling. The purple and black splotches like inky marks across her smooth pale skin, made me feel ill.

"Clambering down that bloody hill," she winced, "You were lucky, I mean you missed the hill completely." She sent me a small grin.

The corners of my lips and eyes couldn't help but turn up in reply to hers, "Yeah, I can't believe my luck really, I even got to break the fall of that brutish grounder."

She shook my head, "So envious of you, how's your head by the way?"

I shrugged, feeling guilty that the attention was back on me, when she was the one who was hurt as well, "It's fine, a little painful when I touch it," I ran my fingers gently over the small bump on my scull, "But otherwise its' okay, I think my pack sort of broke the fall."

She nodded, gently dropping her shirt back down once Octavia had finished, "That's good, the last thing you need is a serious head wound."

I nodded.

"So, what's the verdict doc?" She playfully, punched Octavia in the shoulder, "Will I survive?"

Octavia feigned sorrow, "I don't know, the outlook is looking pretty grim, I would start informing your family members of your imminent death."

There was a moment of tense silence as we all realized that all our family members were dead, well it was assumed that Clarke's mum had perished, and the realization seemed to settle in.

Clarke hurried to break it, "Well, O, I'm naming you as my official honorary earth sister, and I am hereby informing you that I am likely going to pass away within the next 70 years from the bruising on my back."

Octavia laughed and suddenly I felt like maybe we were all family, my blood sister, my leading partner, Jasper who I'd gradually grown to respect and like, Miller my loyal comrade from the start, and of course all the others who'd gone through this hell with us, we all depended on each other to survive and that felt like something similar to family. Even if it was dysfunctional and even if I was close to breaking some of their noses every single day.

But even as I considered this, I realized that this family was not something I deserved nor particularly wanted. I was a bad person, that much I knew and the idea of letting people become close to me, filled me with horror. I couldn't let my evil seep through my skin into those who trusted me. Clarke's eyes flickered to mine, laughter filling them, she was a good person. I knew that she thought I was someone who could be fixed. I wasn't about to become someone's project.

I didn't return her smile and glared, dropping my legs off the edge of the table and rising to my feet, "I'm going to go and check the watch and make sure that everything is in order."

"Wait—" Clarke frowned, confused by the sudden return of my coldness, "You shouldn't be moving around too much and I'll need to keep an eye on you tonight so you'll have to come back."

"No way," I shook my head, "There's no way in hell I'm sleeping on that damn table again, I'll be in my tent."

She sighed, "Being stubborn won't help to heal your wound, but if you insist I'll come and check on you later."

I shrugged, exiting the drop ship, "Do what you gotta."

Clarke's POV

"Why does he do that?" I huffed, frustrated.

"Because he's Bellamy," Octavia sighed, washing her hands in a small tub, "And he's afraid that you're going to figure out that he isn't cold and evil."

"Why is he so afraid to be human?" I ground my teeth in frustration, "Because he's really beginning to irritate me even more."

She smiled sadly, "Then he's succeeding. Look Clarke, to my brother, vulnerability is like a chunk missing out of his armour, he's made the decision to make me his only weakness and the idea that someone else could make him feel something is terrifying."

"What do you mean, make him feel something?" I frowned, twisting my hands in confusion.

"I've said this before Clarke, but he's different with you, he struggles to keep the armour in place, and it makes him angry that he cares for you." She shrugged, tucking her hair behind her ears, "He's not as good at dealing with things as he thinks he is."

I felt even more confused but I didn't want to pry for more information, I liked the idea that that he potentially cared for me. To know that beneath those dark eyes was someone who maybe did shove me that little bit harder out the way of the grounder than he would someone else was scary and nice. I knew that he was invested in the safety of the entire camp and felt responsible for their safety, but part of my hoped that perhaps he felt a little differently toward me.

I didn't know what I felt toward him, all I knew was that it was different to what I had felt with Finn. Finn was sudden, quick, sharp feelings that pierced through my lungs and satiated my need to not be alone, for just a moment. What I felt for Bellamy, was slow and mingled with intense frustration and the need to punch him in the stitches, it was warm and the feeling of my skin tingling when his fingers slid across my skin, it was unfamiliar and it was scary.

**Pls review my longest chapter yet!**


	7. Chapter 7 - Body Heat

**The reviews dropped for the last chapter which didn't do a lot for my motivation BUT I'm enjoying writing this too much at the moment to give up, so even if not many of you are reading, I'll try and update for those who are (-: Pls review and let me know what you think!**

Clarke's POV

By the time nightfall came around that afternoon, the bruises on my back felt like someone was repeatedly punching me, every move I made. Unfortunately the day had been filled with little injuries, at least two broken bones, seven deep splinters, countless cuts and contusions and a few headaches and fluey symptoms. Octavia had been extremely helpful, she had taken to the whole healing side, very well. It seemed like she had some sort of natural knack and I was relieved to be able to pass some of the weight onto someone else's shoulders. Raven also came in and offered a hand halfway through the day, offering to help create salves and helping us to come up with ways to effectively store the medicine we had managed to create. I had a feeling she was just trying to escape something, I suspected Finn, as she demanded to be kept busy and happily carried out any tasks that needed doing, even those more unpleasant, such as boiling and cleaning used rags and bandages.

It was so nice to have a sense of comradery between us girls; Bellamy might have his tough, 'heroic', military posse but I was infinitely grateful for the little trio Raven, Octavia and I had coincidentally become.

"I hear we are being treated to some form of meat tonight," Raven said as the three of us climbed out of the drop ship, "The boys were finally successful enough in their hunting endeavours to catch enough food for everyone to have a portion."

"Ah, I could cry." My mouth was watering, having eaten nothing since breakfast that morning, I was in desperate need of a substantial meal. It was also later than I'd thought and most of the camp was deserted, obviously having already had their meal and headed to bed.

"I also heard that Monty finished a new batch of moonshine," Octavia grinned, bumping her hip into mine, "Time for you to have a break and loosen up huh?"

I rolled my eyes, and grabbed a bowl from the small pile that sat beside the fire. Secretly the idea of not having to think too seriously for a moment was incredibly inviting.

Two of the guys who's names I didn't know were carving up the meat with their knives and serving the remaining line of people who were milling around; for a moment I felt as though we were in the Ark, lining up to be served our specific rations, no fear that death could be tomorrow. I smiled as my portion was served and moved to sit on a log a little further away from the fire, waiting for Octavia and Raven to join me.

Unfortunately, someone else took the advantage of me being alone.

"How are you? I heard you were injured?" The concern in Finn's voice, nudged at the defences I'd put up in order to keep him out, knowing he legitimately cared, only made things worse.

I sighed, there was no use in being rude.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking." I tried to keep my voice as level and neutral as possible without sounding offensive.

He nodded, his brown eyes boring into mine, his hand unconsciously shifting the food around in his bowl, "Is there worry that the grounders will attack closer into camp now?"

I shrugged as Raven and Octavia approached, Raven eyeing her boyfriend in something that was almost annoyance, "I guess, but there's always been that possibility."

"Hey," He greeted Raven with a small smile, "Where were you today, I was looking for you."

She half-shrugged, taking her place beside him, looking tense and uncomfortable, "I helped out in the medical bay, I needed a break from making bullets so I left Jasper to it."

He nodded, fidgeting awkwardly as he sat between the three of us, "I'm going to go and talk to Jasper about the grounder stuff, I uh, I'll see you back at the tent Raven."

She sent him a small smile as he left, letting it slip off her face as soon as he turned away. We ate quietly for a few moments before I broke the silence, "Raven, are – are you alright?"

She was silent for a moment, chewing slowly, "I guess, I mean, things are different with Finn," She glanced at me, as if worried she might say the wrong thing, "Obviously, I just, I'm not sure that us being together is the best thing for me right now."

It was strange to be discussing Finn with her and I could tell that Octavia felt mildly uncomfortable to being involved as well, but luckily we managed to have a fairly open discussion, and I realized that Raven in no way blamed me for what had transpired between Finn and I.

"This may not be any of my business," Octavia cut in, sweeping her long hair behind her ear, "But if you're unhappy, maybe you should take a break. It doesn't necessarily mean it's over for good, but it allows you to get your thoughts together."

I glanced over at the younger girl. She had changed so much in the past couple of weeks since we'd been on earth; I mean we all had, but there was something about her, as if her naivety had been worn down, and the woman within her was taking over. She was only a couple of years my junior and I was amazed by her growth and the way she was handling the treacherous situation we'd managed to find ourselves in.

It was strange, how the earth had forced each and every one of us to change in different ways, some for better - I considered the Blake siblings, some for the worse - I considered Charlotte and perhaps Finn. It never would have crossed his mind to betray Raven before Earth, the atmosphere made the mind make strange decisions.

"I have to go and check on your brother," I sighed, rising to my feet and wiping my sticky fingers on my jeans, "Make sure he hasn't accidentally re-injured himself."

"Here, you might need this," Octavia passed me a cup of what I assumed was moonshine, "It'll stop you from chopping his head off."

I laughed, downing the liquid all at once, only cringing slightly as it burned my throat.

Raven raised her eyebrows in my direction, a smile quirking up the corner of her lip, "That'll hit you later,"

I shrugged, passing the cup back, "I hope so."

"Who are you?" Octavia laughed.

"I'm the princess." I grinned, exaggeratedly flipping my hair over my shoulder and marching toward Bellamy Blake's tent.

It didn't hit me until I was a few feet away from his tent that Bellamy might have company. My hand hovered near the flap, weighing up my options; I couldn't hear anything so I prayed it would be just him.

Thankfully the site that greeted me was one empty of slim brunettes. Bellamy lay on his stomach, still fully dressed, his boots still attached to his feet and his jacket still zipped up to his throat, the side of his face buried in what appeared to be my blanket.

"Bellamy." I whispered, crouching beside him and gently shaking his shoulder with my hand.

He didn't budge. I suddenly realized how utterly exhausted he must have been, to fall asleep in his clothes initially and then not even move when I shook him – I knew he was usually a fairly light sleeper.

Feeling guilty, I shook his shoulder a little harder, my fingers finding their way to the cut on his cheek. I assumed he had received it in the tussle, but with the presence of his more serious injuries I hadn't even noticed. I let my finger slide gently over the puckered skin, feeling his cheek move slightly beneath my hand. I pulled my hand away quickly, "Bellamy." I repeated a little louder.

He mumbled slightly, his nose crinkling and air blowing out of his mouth, "What?"

I smiled gently at his determination to remain asleep and the fact that he didn't feel the need to open his eyes.

"I need to check your stitches, I'm sorry," I said softly, resting my hand on his shoulder, "And you should probably take your shoes off."

The corners of his mouth turned up and his cheeks dimpled slightly, eyes fluttering open and settling on me, "Shall I undress for you princess?"

I smiled, "If it'll enable me to check your stitches than yeah."

He exhaled in a half-laugh, and pulled his upper body up so that he was in a sitting position, "Mood ruiner."

Something inside me twisted in response and I shook my head to hide my flushed cheeks.

I realized as he pulled his jacket off, that we were in such close proximity, that I could feel the warmth emanating off his skin, he was so close that I could reach out and press a hand to his chest and still have a crooked elbow.

"Do your worst." He muttered, lifting the edge of his shirt up and wincing slightly when the wound stretched.

I leant forward, running my fingers along the red, puckered line, feeling his eyes burning into my head, "It looks pretty good actually, which is surprising considering you were sleeping on your stomach."

"Yeah I didn't really think that through," He admitted, "I don't even remember really getting into my tent, I just kind of collapsed."

"Too much of Monty's moonshine?" I suggested.

He bumped his shoulder into mine, laughing in a way that made my stomach flip backwards onto itself, "No!"

I grinned back, leaning away.

He seemed to realize what he'd done and a veil seemed to drop over his eyes and he looked away, dropping his shirt, "Well, thanks, am I free to sleep?"

I nodded, the amusement sliding off my face, my hands dropping to my sides.

The atmosphere seemed to change in the room and guilt flickered across his face, "Have your sleeping arrangements improved?"

I smiled wryly, "Nah, I'll be needing my blanket back."

He shook his head, as if he was trying hard to keep a smile off his face, "It's my pillow now," Teasing seemed like a new shirt on him and I decided it suited him.

I shrugged, putting on my best 'this is inevitable' face, "Well I'll just have to take your comfiest blanket with me instead."

This time he let the smile slip across his lips, "I can't let you do that."

I searched for something to say, the way he was looking at me sent my heart into a strange jagged frenzy, I had never seen him smile so much in one setting. It was as if the sleepiness had created a haze around him, one that allowed him to forget the demons that haunted him, for just a moment.

"Seriously Clarke, you can stay here again, there's plenty of room and it'll be bloody freezing in that drop ship, there is something to be said for body heat." The joking tone was gone as he gestured around his tent.

_Clarke. _Not princess, for once. _Clarke_

Bellamy's POV

I saw Clarke hesitate and panic flickered through me, what if she thought I was trying to lure here into having sex with me? The idea that she would think of me that way felt like being slapped.

But then she nodded, her eyes flickering around the tent, sending me a small smile, one that cut through the part of me that wanted to remain withdrawn and cold.

"Yeah, that's probably best," She said simply, untying the laces of her boots and placing them near the front of them tent, yanking her thick socks up until they covered the bottoms of her pant leg.

I manoeuvred the blankets so they created a sort of nest, and sent her an apologetic look, "I know it's kind of small but I figure we're better off if we don't skimp on blankets, neither of us needs to get frostbite right now."

"It's okay," She replied softly, tugging her jacket off her shoulders and snuggling into one corner of the blankets, being careful not to lie directly on her bruised back.

I pulled my own boots off and lay down beside her on my back, careful to keep the tiny gap of distance between us as I pulled the spare blankets over the both of us.

Any need to keep myself both physically and emotionally distant from Clarke disappeared as she nestled deeper into the blanket, her knees pressing against my thigh and one of her hands resting on my arm, "Relax Bellamy," She whispered, her breath tickling my ear, "This is purely for warmth."

I let my muscles relax and curled so that our legs were tangled together, my hand moving so that it was resting gently on her lower back, warm radiating through my body.

She sighed in contentment, pressing her cheek into the crook of where my shoulder met my neck, the cool tip of her nose sliding against my collarbone.

**Longer chapter + more bellarke? = an earned review, yes ? (; heh if you can spare a sec that'd be awesome fellas xxx**


	8. Chapter 8 - I know you like her

**Yay omg thank you so much for the reviews! They made me so excited that I had to update quickly heh! This is the longest chapter yet (I just can't seem to keep to one length anymore) and I really really hope that it lives up to expectations. I'm a little nervous posting it as things have been a long time coming BUT I hope it was worth it xx**

Clarke's POV

I woke up very warm. It was a strange sensation, one I hadn't felt since we'd landed on earth. Bellamy's body was entangled with mine and my cheek was resting against him, my fingers splayed across his chest, his hand resting on top of mine, fingers curled underneath my palm. I eased my head off and looked up at his face. It was like the first night, content. I smiled gently and snuggled deeper into the arc of his body, I didn't want this moment to end, I didn't want to have to go back to the two integral leaders of the hundred. I wanted his burning skin under my palms and his strong arm curved around my waist. But even as I lay there, the sleepiness began to slip away from me and realistic thoughts began to filter back through my brain. This wasn't going to last, this companionship, and this comfort. Bellamy would eventually open his eyes and detach himself from my body, he would hook a weapon back over his shoulder and once again become the leader the hundred needed; and I? I would march out of this tent and tend to the injured and later we would discuss attack plans for the grounders and I would forget what it felt like to be this close to this boy.

"What could you possibly be thinking so hard about at this time of the morning?" A mumble came from above me, the chin that was resting on my head, moving.

I shrugged, squeezing my eyes firmly shut and inhaling his woody scent, "Reality."

"A wasted pastime." He murmured, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I sighed, "It's later in the morning, and people are going to think something's going on when they see me leave your tent."

I felt his body tense beneath me, his hand briefly squeezing my hip tightly, before releasing it and letting his hand drop onto the covers beside me. Sudden fear flickered through me and I made a small noise of protest, reaching my spare hand back over and grabbing his so that his arm was hooked around my shoulder, his palm pressed between my own. Bellamy made no move to stop me, removing my other hand from underneath his, his arm completely under my control.

I focused on inspecting his hand in comparison to mine. It was so much larger, callouses around the inside and outside of his knuckles, his skin brown and slightly speckled with the occasional freckle. Hands that had beaten Murphy bloody, I traced the knuckles, hands that had rested on Charlotte's shoulder with reassurance, I traced the inside of the smoothest parts of his palm, hands that two weeks ago would never have let anyone scrutinize them so thoroughly.

"Hoping to read my future princess?" He asked catching my hand with his instead.

He gently turned my hands over with his, "Yeah, trying to see whether we'll end up human shish ka bobs." I laughed, trying to keep my voice from mirroring the butterflies that were rioting through my stomach.

"Hmm," He thought, running one of his fingers down through the centre of my palm, my skin tingling in response, "Yeah from what I can tell from this line here, you are going to be strung up above a grounder fire in two days' time and I'm going to have to save you."

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah? Because your palm told me that you were going to stop being an arrogant jerk and find a really big supply of all the medicine that would cure all illnesses in the camp."

His laughter reverberated through both our bodies and I hid my grin.

"What you said before though," He paused, still playing with my fingers, "You're right, people shouldn't see you leaving my tent, they'll get the wrong idea and that's not what we want."

I wondered what the wrong idea was in his mind. That I was another of his female flings? That we'd spent a spontaneous night of passion together drunk on moonshine? That we were in a relationship that was bound to have an impact on our leadership?

"Shall I slip out the back on my elbows and knees, cowering like a guilty mistress?" I asked a little too icily, staring at where our hands had stilled, still entwined.

He sighed heavily, pulling himself upright so that I had to move my head off his chest and ran his fingers through his unruly hair so that it stuck up in swirls and loops, I ached to smooth my fingers through it.

"I just don't think it would be…" He paused, struggling, not meeting my eyes, "In your best interest for people to assume that there was something going on with us."

"Not that I don't agree," I said, sitting so that we were at a similar height, "But why particularly do you think it would not be in my interest?"

I wasn't sure what was going on between us but these moments felt intimate, ones I wouldn't share impulsively with anyone, and I doubted Bellamy lay snuggled in bed with his female companions, without his hands straying, very often.

His eyes dropped to mine, serious and achingly warm, "The camp as a whole trusts your judgement more than mine, they may follow me but they don't trust me, not entirely. They'll think I've somehow compromised you and –"

I cut him off, "Bellamy, they don't think you're the antichrist. You need to have more faith in your ability to gain the loyalty of people. If anyone asks I'll tell them I just came in to let you know that I thought I saw grounders outside the walls."

I avoided his eyes and tugged on my boots, flattening my hair in what I hoped was a way that would pass as having been awake for hours. I felt as if I were a rejected lover, shunned after losing my virginity, by my love. The corners of my eyes were beginning to burn and bit down hard on my tongue, there was no way I was showing emotion here, not now. It all felt so very ridiculous, what had I expected?

"Clarke," he started, resting his hand on my shoulder, his index finger gently sweeping across the side of my neck, "It's not as if I'm ashamed, I just, we're just—"

I spun around to face him, "I know, there's nothing going on and we wouldn't want people to think otherwise. I get it Bellamy, you don't have to explain, it makes sense and I agree." His eyes zoned in on the flush that was beginning to creep up my neck when I started to get emotional and he opened his mouth.

I ducked out of the tent before he could reply, hurrying across the blessedly generally clear yard, inhaling the sharp, icy air, trying to clear my head. I wasn't usually a crier but lately the tears had been tugging at the corners of my eyes far too often to count. I attributed it to the lessened sleep and completely unfamiliar situations.

"Woah, Clarke, are you alright?" Octavia appeared in my line of sight, obviously noticing the liquid that was beginning to pool in my eyes.

I nodded, smiling and rubbing my fist against my eyes, removing the moisture, "Yeah, just tired I guess."

I continued past her, not wanting to have another discussion with a Blake sibling at this time of the morning. They were far too inquisitive and I could see Bellamy in her high cheekbones and her eyes.

Bellamy POV

"Alright, sweet brother of mine." Octavia whirled into my tent, not even bothering to announce her presence which I found strange since people usually entered my tent with caution, "What exactly did you say to Clarke?"

I frowned at her, tugging my jacket over my shoulders and wincing when my wound pinched, "Nothing, what are you on about O?"

She crossed her arms, "I saw her leaving your tent looking pretty out of sorts, and I _know _that there's something going on, I'm not blind."

"We were talking about the grounders, I don't know why she'd be upset." I shrugged, turning away so that she wouldn't see the lie imprinted on my lips.

"You're full of rubbish," She announced, "I know you like her."

Anger and embarrassment flooded through me, pressing up against my skin, hot and desperate, closing around me, I felt trapped, claustrophobic, "What?"

Sympathy flashed through her eyes and she stepped forward, wrapping her tiny hand around my arm, "Bell, I've seen the way you are with her, it's just me, you don't have to be afraid. She isn't going to disappear, this isn't like mum."

Her eyes were pleading with me, my arms were shaking, "I'm the reason mum got floated." I whispered, reaching up to grip her arm with my hand, to steady myself. I hated the feeling of weakness that clouded my brain, making it difficult to think. Weakness was an enemy.

She shook her head, "You know that's not true, what happened to mum was her fault, she made the decision to keep me."

I clenched my teeth, emotion burning through my skin, I felt as though I would implode, "I can't let anyone else in O, I need to protect you."

"Letting someone else in, doesn't mean you aren't protecting me," She whispered, her eyes imploring me to believe her, "You aren't a stone wall Bell, letting yourself feel something for someone isn't an act of betrayal upon yourself, isolation won't heal."

I wasn't even sure what it was I felt for Clarke Griffin, but the way her fingers had splayed across my chest and the way her legs had felt pressed against mine, had made me feel safer and more secure than I had been since mum died. Part of me knew that Octavia was right, but the other part of me blanched at the idea of someone seeing me with the walls crumbling, the way Octavia was now.

"I can't, its weakness." My teeth gritted.

She shrugged, squeezing her hands around my arms once more, before releasing me and stepping backward, "She's good for you, and I hope you realize that."

Clarke's POV

I was approached by a boy I didn't recognize around midday, he had straw coloured hair and rounded cheeks, a gun slung over his shoulder and an almost fearful look in his eyes. He couldn't have been more than seventeen or eighteen. I recognized him slightly and I wondered whether he'd been in any of my classes on the Ark before we'd both been jailed for our crimes. I wondered what his crime was. He had a sweet face, I imagined it was something petty like stealing for his family.

"Hi?" I greeted as he approached the table where I was wrapping a bandage around the arm of one of the younger girls of the camp, she'd fallen attempting to pull berries off a tree just outside the wall.

He nodded, fiddling nervously with the pocket of his jacket, "You're needed outside the wall immediately, there's been an injury."

I frowned slightly, noticing the tension in his shoulders, "Sure, I'll be right there." I said turning back to finish up the bandage.

"No, it has to be now," He demanded, his voice quivering ever so slightly, panic heightening the tone.

"Has someone been badly injured?" I inquired, grabbing a few necessary items and stuffing them into my pockets, following him out of the drop ship.

"Yeah, come quickly." He said, marching quickly ahead of me, glancing around as if to make sure we weren't drawing attention to ourselves.

I began to worry at my lower lip as an uneasy sensation began to grow inside me, I gripped the knife at my hip to reassure myself.

Once we were outside the fence line the boy began to relax a little leading me further away from the view of guards, "It's just over here," he encouraged, pointing to a small ridge, one I recognized as where a guard was usually posted.

Maybe someone had been injured on duty? It wasn't uncommon after all. The anxiety began to settle as I reached the top of the recline, "So where's –"

Abruptly a heavy object made contact with the back of my head and a sharp pain reverberated through my scull as I pitched forward, a cry slipping from my lips.

"Please be quiet." The voice I recognized as the blonde boy was desperate, yanking me up by the collar of my jacket, the panic still in his voice, I figured the blow was meant to have injured me more seriously.

He raised his fist again as stars danced across my vision. Before it could make contact with me again I yanked my knee upwards, his groan telling me I'd hit my target. I struggled to my feet and screamed as loud as I could, staggering over the hill and screaming again, "HELP!"

A hand wrapped around my ankle and I fell face forward into the dirt, my fingers scrabbling at the rocky ground, the taste of dirt and blood on my tongue, "BELLAMY!" I screamed the first name I could think of. The only name I trusted to save me.

Two dark figures emerged from the trees and I heard a gunshot and the pressure on my ankle subsided, leaving me free to scramble to my feet, a pair of arms hooking under my arms and heaving me upright. His face was so close to mine that even with my shaken vision I could count the freckles dotting his cheeks, concern and anger fought for domination in his eyes. He cool fingers found my cheeks and my temple, holding my head, "Clarke, Clarke are you okay?" his distress evident, as he desperately sought my confirmation.

I nodded weakly, reaching my hand out to grab his hip to steady myself.

"I heard your scream," He whispered, his breath caressing my cheeks, "I thought you were, I thought…" Then suddenly his lips were pressed to my forehead, my cheeks, and finally capturing my lips. Gentle, warm, contrast to his cool fingers, one hand on my cheek, one on my hip, holding me steady.

I swayed, moving one of my hands to tangle in the hair I had so longingly ached to twist my fingers into. His lips tasted slightly of my blood but more so of sweet berries and Bellamy Blake. Gently he released my lips and pressed his forehead to mine, his breath whispering around my cheeks, his thumb gently tracing my lips, his eyes squeezed shut, body pressed against mine. Holding me firmly against him. Warmth. Bellamy.

**Let me know what you think! Reviews = motivation = more bellarke! Hehe xx**


	9. Chapter 9 - You look pretty badass

**AH the reviews for the last chapter made me grin like a monkey, thank you SO MUCH! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, I was tossing back and forth in my head for ages trying to figure out how to make THE kiss happen but that one was my favourite! This chapter has more tense scenes which I hope you'll enjoy!**

Clarke's POV

_The fingers wrapped around my ankle and I fell twisting, trying to pull myself out of his grip, my throat raw from screaming. Laughter sounded behind me and suddenly I was being pulled backward, sticks scratching at the soft skin on my stomach, my desperate screams cutting through the silence. Then two figures emerged; Bellamy and Miller, I screamed Bellamy's name, relief flooding through me. He walked toward me, too slowly, I was being dragged further. I wailed, kicking my legs, but to no avail. He continued toward me, a small smile pulling on his face, calm. _

"_BELLAMY!" I wailed, my voice cracking._

"_What's up princess, can you save everyone but yourself?" His voice was like an icy blade at my throat._

"Clarke." Hands were on my shoulders, tugging at me, shaking me, urging me.

My eyes flew open and I lashed out, smacking the hands away and twisting my body away, launching to my feet and throwing myself to the back of the tent, whipping around to face the threat, my shaking hands raised protectively in front of me.

Bellamy knelt frozen in the middle of the tent, his hands held up in front of him, palms facing toward me, alarmed.

I eyed him for a moment, ragged breaths tearing from my lips, my entire body shaking as the images of the nightmare flashed at high speed through my brain.

"Are you alright?" He asked, rising slowly to his feet as if he was afraid any sudden movements would freak me out.

I inhaled deeply, pressing my palms to my stomach and feeling my heart beat reverberate loudly through my body, pounding through me, squeezing my eyes shut quickly and reopening them.

"Sorry," I said quietly, not meeting his eyes, the memories of the real events flooding back through me, as my body began to slow to its normal pace.

Bellamy had held onto me tightly as someone had yanked the blonde boy to his feet, shrieking frantically in both pain and fear. Then he had led me slowly back to the camp, both of us silent, his strong arm hooked around my waist, the only thing keeping my upright. Terror had surged through me as I tried to make sense of what had just happened. Bellamy's woody scent, mixed with honey had comforted me, as I had pressed my face into his shirt. When we'd reached the gates, he passed me onto Raven and Octavia and I vaguely remembered watching him storm off toward the drop ship, his fists clenched tightly at his sides, the tendons standing out of his arms, anger radiating through his stance. I loosely remembered the girls helping me into a tent and pressing cool, damp material to my forehead, soothing my fright with soft voices and warm blankets.

I must have fallen asleep, which brought me to where I was now; pressed in the corner of Bellamy Blake's tent, trying to calm my breathing, whilst he stood a couple of metres away, his eyes locked onto mine, arms still in the air as if he were preparing to catch me, were I to suddenly collapse.

"Sorry," I repeated, straightening my spine and composing myself, "I just, I had a nightmare."

He nodded slowly, lowering his hands, "Yeah, I ah I heard you say my name, or sort of scream it really and so I came and ah…" There was an air of awkwardness about him, and the full memory of the kiss slammed into me.

"Thanks," I said, ducking my head, "Not just for now, but for before, out there, I really thought that he was going to kill me."

"Hey," Bellamy stepped forward, catching one of my shaking hands in his, "I wouldn't have let that happen."

I nodded, meeting his eyes which were the colour of warmth, "I know, you didn't."

His eyes flickered up to my forehead and he reached one hand slowly around to rest on the back of my hair, gentle. My heart beat was in my throat, his touch sending a warm flush across my cheek, "How are you though, seriously, did he, did he hurt you?" The words seemed to come with some difficulty to him and he avoided my eyes.

"No, my head feels like a brick and I bet my face looks like I've been in a fist fight, but I'm okay." I said, trying to lighten the mood.

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly and he gently dropped his hand to rest on my cheek, gently sliding his knuckles against my skin, "There's a couple of bruises, here and here and there's a cut here." He gently traced his thumb across the corner of my lip.

I was barely registering what he was saying. I was imaging the feel of his lips on mine again, soft, urgent, warm, like sweet honey, and his knuckles were spreading liquid fire across my skin.

"But," he continued," finally meeting my eyes, his gaze intense, making it impossible for me to look away, "You look pretty badass."

A grin stretched across my face and I winced as the cut on my lip stung.

Bellamy laughed, casually letting his hand slide down so that it rested on my neck, the tips of his fingers reaching the back of my neck and my hair, "Apparently smiling is now prohibited." He teased.

His laughter caused the smile to stretch further across my mouth and I pressed my cool fingers to my mouth, attempting to hold my lips in place, "Stop it, you're making it hurt more!"

He grinned, leaning forward and letting go of my hand, gently tugging my fingers away from my mouth and sliding his hand onto the opposite side of my neck so that I was trapped between his warm hands. His breath, almost minty, blew across my lips gently before he pressed his own to the corner of my mouth, being careful to avoid the cut. It was different from our first kiss which had been gentle but with urgency, this one was tantalizingly slow, spreading warmth all the way through my body, he was setting fire to my skin. I let one of my hands drop to his waist, easing my fingers under the hem of his shirt and around so that they were pressing into the strip of skin on his lower back, his muscles tensing slightly beneath my fingers. I reached my other hand up under his shirt so that my hand pressed against the sharp, hot skin that stretched over his shoulder blade. His body was alive against mine, all sinewy muscle, beneath my fingers.

He exhaled a little more heavily into my mouth, and gently pushed me so that I was flush up against the side of the tent, one of his hands dropping to rest on the bare skin at my waist, my shirt crumpled above his hand. My heart spluttered in my chest and I wanted to yank his shirt over his head, to feel his burning skin pressed against mine.

"Bellamy!" A yell, sliced through the moment like a knife and I let go of him quickly, stepping sideways, hot embarrassment climbing up my neck and cheeks.

Bellamy stared at me raggedly, his eyes fiery in a way that made my stomach clench and my fingers ache to grab hold of his hair and yank him back toward me. We were both breathing heavily, eyes not leaving one another's.

"Bellamy!" the voice called again and Bellamy turned just in time to see Miller step into the tent, "The prisoner is-"

His eyes darted between the two of us, my rumpled hair and flushed cheeks and Bellamy's heated eyes and slightly hitched up shirt, I could almost taste the electricity in the air.

"Clarke you're up!" He was either oblivious or knew how to handle tense situations, "We were a little worried about your head wound."

I nodded, trying to appear nonplussed, "Yeah I'm alright, I might go and grab something to eat now I'm up." I smiled, ducking past Bellamy, refusing to meet his gaze, knowing that my skin would go up in flames, and sending Miller a small smile.

As I ducked through the flap I realized that I was making a habit of darting out of Bellamy's tent like a scared girl. I also realized that I had absolutely no idea what the hell he and I were or what he expected out of it. All I knew was that I had screamed for him and he had saved my life.

Bellamy POV

My fist cracked across his nose, blood spraying across his pallid skin and the skin on my knuckles. Fury was like a fire cracker, lighting every tiny atom within me, until my entire body felt like it was on fire. He wailed, a high keening noise that I knew could probably be heard across the entire camp. His body was shaking and he was slumped against the chair, his hands tied behind his back.

"What the hell were you doing attacking Clarke?" I demanded, pacing across in front of him, Miller and Reynolds standing behind me.

The boy couldn't have been very old, he had hair almost the colour of Clarke's and blue grey watery eyes that pleaded for mercy. His skin was pale and the blood that oozed from his nose and splattered across his lips was stark a stark contrast. I felt like I was beating up a child, my fists, so accustomed to making marks on skin, felt like weapons that obliterated rather than caressed. I wanted him to fight, I wanted him to hiss and spit and stare me down so that I would feel as if the anger that raced through my veins was well founded. How could this boy have attempted to murder someone?

Fat tears were beginning to roll down his cheeks, "Please," He stuttered, a choking sob forcing its way out of his throat, "Please stop."

I growled, digging my fingernails into my palms and turning back to Miller and Reynolds, "Who the hell is this coward?" I demanded.

Miller shook his head, eyeing the boy with utter disgust, "His name is Gerard Riley, he was sceptical to become one of the guards when we first landed but eventually he did. He's seventeen and according to Roma, who was imprisoned near him on the Ark, he's a total chicken."

"Well what the fuck is he doing attempting to murder his leader and our doctor?" Reynolds asked, stepping forward and placing his knife under Riley's chin, sweat breaking out across his forehead, his grey eyes wide in terror, "Repulsive, weakling, swine." He hissed.

"Don't kill him Reynolds," I said, although my fingers ached to wrap around his throat, "We need information and we need to know whether he was working alone."

Reynolds shrugged, stepping back, but not before flicking his knife and cutting a thin gash in the boy's round cheek. The boy yelped, the blood trickling, unhindered down beneath his chin and across his neck until it disappeared beneath his collar.

"I don't think it should be too hard to get information," Miller considered, "Look at him, he's a bumbling wreck, threaten him enough and he'll fall to pieces and tell you everything you need to know."

"He better, or else," I snarled, stalking toward him slowly, and holding the tip of my knife just in the soft skin between his nose and eye, "I will slice your fingers off, one by one, until you tell me everything."

The boy shivered, his eyes staring into mine in horror.

"_That's what you get," I thought, "For trying to kill Clarke Griffin."_

**Leave a review if you have a spare moment, if not, thank you for reading anyway! (-:**


	10. Chapter 10 - Did you do it?

**Thanks again for the reviews! I just wanted to say quickly that this story is entirely for my leisure and I don't focus on every meticulous detail because I don't want to take away from my enjoyment of it, I simply write how I imagine one would react in their situations. I'm also just writing this as I go, not really planning, so sometimes it goes in directions even I didn't expect. I hope you're enjoying it (-:**

Clarke POV

Bellamy reminded me of a panther. He prowled back and forth in front of the prisoner, his muscles coiled, like iron beneath his tanned skin. His body a taut bow string.

The prisoner reminded me of a child. His eyes were planted firmly on the ground, a sheen of sweat across his forehead and upper lip. There was a gash across his right cheek and I wondered whether it had been at the hand of Bellamy. I'd ducked into the drop ship after grabbing a handful of berries, I definitely needed to replenish my strength after, and found Miller, Reynolds, Bellamy and Roma standing in front of my attacker. I felt a flicker of fear at the sight of him, but it had quickly disappeared. He looked so weak, and pathetic.

"What are you going to do with him?" I asked, clearing my throat as my voice came out slightly breathless.

The four of them whipped around to face me, taking in my bruised face, berry stained fingers and defiant posture. I had rinsed the dirt and muck from my hair and face in an attempt to regain some sort of dignity.

"Are you sure you want to be in here?" Reynolds asked, his voice surprised and if I was correct, ever so slightly annoyed.

I could feel Bellamy's eyes on me, searching, intense, but I avoided them. He would only make things more crowded and confusing in my brain and I didn't need that now, I wanted answers.

"Yes," I answered firmly, walking forward and standing beside Roma, so that I was only a couple of metres away from the boy who as far as I knew, had attempted to take my life away from me.

"What's his name?" I asked calmly, ignoring the slightly queasiness within my stomach.

"Gerard Riley," Roma supplied.

_Gerard Riley. _I repeated the name over and over again in my mind, tasting it on my tongue, willing myself to remember anything about it. There was something familiar about the last name but for the life of me I couldn't recall a single detail of why. There was familiarity in the curve of nose, the hooked end, slightly too large for his face, the familiarity came with flood of fondness. I shook my head, completely bewildered. Who was this boy? And why was my mind refusing to put the pieces together?

"Do you know him?" Bellamy asked, his voice soft.

I chewed the corner of my lip, "I'm not sure," I sighed.

"Let me get information out of him," Reynolds offered, sending the boy a glare.

I glanced up at him, shuddering when I realized he reminded me of Murphy. He had oily black hair and a cruel curve to his lip. He held a knife in his hand, the only gentle part of him was the way he caressed the blade with the tip of his thumb. Sometimes I forgot that there was a reason some of these people had been prisoners. But there was also something about him that told me that he would be unwaveringly loyal and knowing that he was close to Bellamy comforted me.

Suddenly I didn't want to be there. I wanted to save people, not watch them be tortured by people who perhaps were doing it more for the pleasure rather than for revenge or information. The walls were almost claustrophobic, and I inhaled deeply, wrapping my fingers around Roma's wrist to steady myself. Her eyes dropped to my hand, surprised and she opened her mouth to say something.

"I am going to tend to any injuries," I said suddenly, "Do what you need to do."

I ignored the eyes on my back as I exited the drop ship, knowing that they probably thought I was going insane.

"I can't believe he kissed you." Octavia repeated for probably the eighth time since we'd started our shift in the medical bay that afternoon.

"Oh for godsake," Raven sighed in exasperation, dropping the implement she was using to crush medicinal herbs, "I know he's your brother and you probably hate to think about it but I'm guessing your brother has probably – sorry Clarke, had a _lot _of experience with that mouth of his."

Octavia looked momentarily repulsed and wrong-footed. I could relate – the idea of Bellamy kissing other people made me feel ill.

"Yuck, I don't even, that's not what I meant!" She cried, "I mean, like _seriously _kissed her, like because he wanted to."

Raven raised her eyebrows, "Isn't that usually why people kiss each other?"

Octavia threw a handful of soggy leaves at her. Raven yelped when the gooey, cold clump made contact with her arm and continued to slowly ooze across her skin, "Gross O!" She rushed to rinse the green slime from her skin.

Octavia grinned continuing to pulverise the rest of the concoction with a bent metal fork, "Anyway Clarke," She turned back to addressing me, "I've never seen my brother kiss anyone like that, or _look _at anyone like that for that matter."

I couldn't help the smile that crept across my lips, and I shrugged, dropping my head so they wouldn't see the pink flush that stained my cheeks.

"Ha!" Octavia beamed, pointing at me with a slimy finger, "You _do _like him!"

I groaned, embarrassed, "God this feels like classes back on the Ark, with all the gossipy girls, you're killing me O."

She just laughed, "I missed out on all that, so I'm taking advantage right now!"

Raven reappeared, resting her elbows on the table and placing her chin on her intertwined knuckles, eyeing me wickedly, "Yeah what is going on there?"

I rolled my eyes, "I don't know, honestly, it's Bellamy I have absolutely no idea what he's thinking and I don't know what I want either."

"That's boring!" Raven argued, bumping her hip against mine, "Come on, Clarke."

I bit my lip to stop myself smiling too broadly and casually focused on folding bandages, "Well, he did ah, kiss me again."

"I KNEW IT!" Octavia shrieked, "I DON'T KNOW WETHER TO BE DISGUSTED OR EXCITED!"

"Just pretend he's just really hot and totally not related to you?" Raven supplied helpfully.

"Ah yuck, he's so not hot." Octavia laughed, folding her hands over her eyes as if the image was physically painful, a traitorous grin stretching across her lips.

"I thought you didn't like him?" I asked Raven curiously.

She shrugged, "He can be a total ass, I mean we all know that, but I guess he's doing the best he can under the circumstances and I can understand that."

"Yeah he can be," I agreed, "I agree."

A sudden noise from the entry of the drop ship brought our attention to a girl around my age, who was eyeing us curiously, cradling one of her arms in the other, blood visible beneath her fingertips.

"Back to work," Octavia announced, gesturing for the girl to come over and helping her to take a seat.

The day seemed to pass quickly and it wasn't long before I was seated around the fire, explaining to an inquisitive Jasper and Monty what exactly had happened with the boy with the straw coloured hair.

"But we were hunting once and that kid refused to shoot a deer," Jasper looked positively baffled, "Why in the world would he want to hurt you?"

I shrugged, "It's really bugging me not knowing, I just can't imagine what I could have possibly done to him?"

"No idea but he better hurry up and divulge the information or Bellamy's fists are going to make sign language the only form of possible communication for him." Jasper said.

I cringed, nausea crawling up my throat, "Is he being that brutal?"

Jasper looked uncomfortable, "I honestly thought he was going to kill him when he first went to see him."

"Where is he anyway?" I asked, glancing around the fire where most people were huddled and noticing his absence.

"Not sure," Monty shrugged, "I don't think he's on guard duty of the wall or the prisoner."

I began to feel uneasy, hoping that he would emerge, bowl in hand and settle beside me, hand resting on my knee and reassure me with a quick, warm smile.

But he didn't. Instead an awful scream cut through the darkness and a young girl with mousy hair and a smudged nose came racing out from the direction of the drop ship, terror clear in her wide brown eyes, "He's dead!" She wailed.

"Who?!" Everyone rose to their feet, an older girl rushing to the young girl's side, catching her fingers, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Ice raged through my veins. _Not Bellamy. Please, please let him be okay._

"The boy!" She sobbed, "There was blood and—"

I was up and running, Monty and Jasper at my heels, toward the drop ship. Panic was like water in my body and I thought I may faint before I reached the doors.

Jasper over took me and climbed into the drop ship, "Holy fu –" He swore, reaching a hand out to stop me, but I dodged past him.

Still strung up where I had last seen him, was the prisoner. But this time a gaping scarlet wound opened out across his throat, his head snapped back unnaturally, his skin white. Blood pooled down his shirt and onto the ground creating a dark red circle where his knees now rested, blood soaking the knees of his jeans.

The nausea burned up my throat and I ran from the ship and retched in a nearby bush, my body spazming as the image remained etched in my mind, vomit burning my mouth and throat as I struggled to breathe. My fingers scrabbled in the dirt, rocks digging into my knees.

A cool hand was suddenly on my neck, gently pulling my hair away from my face and wrapping around my abdomen holding me upright, "It's alright," He whispered, his voice a blanket wrapping around my skin. His crouched body was pressed against mine, his voice a balm to the sickness ricocheting throughout my body.

Realization dawned on me and I shoved him away from me, rising to my feet, staring at where he too had risen, his body towering over mine. Curly, unruly, familiar hair and warm, confused eyes.

"Did you do it?" I demanded, wiping the collar of my shirt across my mouth, aware that I probably looked like hell.

"Do wha—?" Understanding filled his eyes, mingling with betrayal, "Of course I didn't."

But I wasn't listening. I was putting the pieces together in my head.

"You, Monty said you almost killed him before. If he wasn't giving you enough information, you could have easily lost control, you could've, and you could've done it." My voice was shaking.

"Clarke," He reached out a hand to me and I stepped backward, hurt and frustration entering his expression, "I didn't do it, god why can't you believe me?"

"You weren't at the fire like everyone else," I continued, suddenly feeling achingly, sickeningly confident that I was correct, "Where were you?"

"Why the hell would I kill him?" He snapped, anger at being accused slowly overtaking other emotions except the tiny flicker of guilt, "I'm not an idiot, and not being at the fire doesn't prove anything."

He was avoiding the question and the image of the boy was still cemented in my brain, his eyes, wide open and glassy, frozen indefinitely in terror, "If you killed him," I hissed, suddenly the reality of never knowing why I was attacked hitting me, "You and I are going to have problems."

**Thanks for reading! I loved the intensity of the scene in the show where Bellamy uses the 'you and I are going to have problems' line, so I mixed it around a bit! Don't worry about Bellarke, they'll get through it and remember Clarke is traumatised and that was a pretty gory sight, don't be too hard on how she reacted heh! Will they find out **_**why **_**he tried to kill her? Stay tuned fellas xx (pls review!)**


	11. Chapter 11 - It was Bellamy Blake

**This chapter was quite hard to write, my inspiration was a little low! Thanks for those who reviewed as always! Also to the question about when this is set, to be honest I didn't want to make it that specific because I wanted a flexible storyline but it's obviously after Raven landed and I sort of replaced Finn getting injured with Bellamy, although Clarke didn't require any Ark help. But the Ark will play more of a part in the future chapters! I may include little snippets from "We are Grounders Part 1" with alternate characters etc (-: We'll see! Sorry if the lack of canon storyline makes it confusing :c Enjoy x**

Clarke POV

"So there's been no headway about who killed him?" I asked, tugging my jacket closer around me as I helped Jasper scrub the scarlet stains off the floor of the drop ship.

I had thought it would be difficult to face but it was sort of therapeutic, the repetitive motion of scrubbing, I felt as if I was cleaning the memory from my mind.

Jasper shook his head, "Sorry Clarke, but nobody saw anything which is really odd."

"Who was meant to be on duty?" I asked, part of me desperately not wanting to hear the answer.

"Bellamy," He replied, watching for my reaction, "Clarke, I know Bellamy, he wouldn't do that."

"Well where the hell was he then?" I sighed, feeling defeated.

Jasper didn't reply.

I had spent the night in the medical bay curled up one of the old drop ship seats, and now my entire body ached, along with the dull ache in my chest which hadn't subsided since my encounter with Bellamy. I had woken with a clearer head and an immense amount of guilt, what if Bellamy hadn't done it? _Please let Bellamy not have done it._

I wondered either way, whether he would ever forgive me for such an accusation. I'd just stormed away from him, not even giving him a chance to explain himself, I had been so totally sure and so totally crushed.

"Where's the girl who found him?" I asked, pausing and letting the brush drop to the floor, a glimmer of hope beginning to unfold in my mind.

Jasper shook his head, "She's with one of the older girls, Diane, in their tent, but I don't think you'll –"

"I'm going to talk to her," I said immediately, rising to my feet, "Maybe get Reynolds or Miller to help you clean this up, I'm not sure that any of the other girls or the guys will be able to stomach it after what they saw last night."

Jasper nodded, sending me a weak smile, "Good luck."

I found the tent rather easily and discovered the young girl and the woman who had knelt beside her, who I assumed was Diane, sitting inside weaving ropes together. Since our discoveries of the bunkers we had managed to teach ourselves to weave together yarn we'd found, and from spare rags to create new, warmer gloves and socks for the Winter.

They both jumped to their feet as I entered, obviously somewhat jittery.

"Clarke," Diane nodded, "Was there something you needed?"

I let my eyes drop to the young girl who was hiding just behind Diane's shoulder, "I was wondering whether I could speak to…"

"This is Ella," Diane filled in for me, "But if you're here to question her than—"

I cut her off, "I just want to know what she saw, the safety of the entire camp is at risk if we can't find the killer."

Diane nodded uneasily, sighing and sitting back down, nudging Ella around so that she was in front of her.

"Hi," I smiled, crouching down so that I was at a lower level than them both, "Would you be able to tell me what you saw?"

Ella's eyes flickered toward Diane, searching for reassurance. Diane nodded, sending her a small smile.

"I, I walked into the drop ship to look for some more rope materials and I found the," She paused, biting her lip, "I found the body."

I nodded sympathetically, "I know how hard that must have been for you, you were pretty brave."

She smiled shyly at me. I was suddenly reminded of Charlotte and her tentative sweetness.

"Did you see anyone around there?" I asked, hope bubbling up in my throat.

She nodded slowly, briefly flickering her gaze to Diane and back again, "I saw someone slipping away from the body…but I, I was too scared to say anything."

I nodded in understanding, the suspense almost overwhelming me, "Would you be able to describe them?"

"I know who they were," She replied, certain for the first time, and a trace of bitterness colouring her tone, "It was Bellamy Blake."

I felt as though someone had poured a bucket of icy water over my head and I had to force the next words out through my teeth, "What did he look like? Was he holding a weapon or anything?"

The girl glanced toward Diane quickly again, her eyes dropping to my shirt, "He just had one of those knives that they made when we landed, with the red handles that everyone carries around, and he had his gun."

I nodded, attempting to keep the sympathy and sadness etched onto my face, "Right, well thank you so much for your time Ella," I smiled, gently resting my hand on her shoulder, "Could you tell me one more thing, what colour shirt was Bellamy wearing?"

Ella paled, scrunching her shirt up in her fingers, "I, I can't be sure but I think it was black."

"It was dark," Diane jumped in, squeezing Ella's hand in her own, "And obviously her mind was on other things."

I nodded, "Of course, you've been very helpful, thank you so much." I smiled once more and walked out of the tent, a small smile tugging on the edge of my lips.

I had someone to apologize profusely to.

I took a detour to the drop ship where I found Jasper still scrubbing hard at the floor, this time Miller was crouched beside him, water soaking the knees of his dark pants, they were chatting quietly.

"Bellamy didn't do it." I announced, unable to keep the relief from my voice.

They both looked up at me, "Well I figured as much," Jasper replied, but I could sense the relief in his tone, "How'd you find out and who did actually do it?"

"I haven't gotten that far yet," I sighed, "But I spoke to the girl Ella and it was clear that someone has bribed her into telling everyone that it was Bellamy."

Miller furrowed his eyebrows, "How'd you figure that?"

"She told me that Bellamy was carrying one of the knives like 'everyone else' with the red handle and that he was wearing a black shirt, when I know for sure that he was wearing that gross white one that he has had to wear since his black one was ruined when he was stabbed." I replied smugly, not being able to keep the excitement from my voice.

I wanted to find Bellamy and wrap my arms around him.

Miller smiled slowly, "And Bell generally refuses to use knives, and if he does he uses that bloody shard of black metal with the rope around the handle."

"Do you have any idea who did it?" Jasper asked curiously, dropping the brush and climbing to his feet.

"Not for sure, but I have a very good idea." I was remembering seeing Diane with her arms wrapped around a tall dark haired boy on the way to my tent one night, a boy with oily black hair.

….

It didn't take me too long to find Bellamy. He was leaning up against the gate with Roma, both of them holding their weapons lightly in their arms, chatting quietly and glancing up occasionally over the fence. Roma saw me first and must have muttered something to Bellamy; he turned slowly, his face cold and unwelcoming, his fingers tightening around the cool metal of his gun. Roma, noticing the tension, muttered something to Bellamy and then retreated further up toward a group chatting by the tents.

"Hi," I greeted timidly, pressing my fingernails into my palms.

"What do you want?" he asked and I winced at the sharpness of his tone.

"I spoke to Ella, the girl who you know, found the body," I paused, inhaling, "And it seems I owe you a huge apology."

His jaw tensed, and I ached to press my lips to his cheek, to smooth my fingers across his jawline. "Right, so now you've found proof that it wasn't me, you've come to apologize for accusing me when you had absolutely no reason too. That's fucking good of you."

"Look," I reached out my hand but dropped it when he yanked his body out of my reach, the movement stinging me, "I thought I had a reason too and I'm sorry."

"Doesn't really cut it," He replied sourly, "I thought we trusted each other, yet you didn't even stop to think that perhaps I didn't do it, you didn't even consider that I might not be a monster."

"You're not a monster," I whispered, "I know that, I just, I thought it had happened again, I thought I'd trusted someone stupidly and I didn't want to be caught oblivious again, so I jumped to conclusions."

"I'm not Finn, Clarke," he snapped, and I knew I'd hit a nerve, "You need to stop comparing the two of us, I get that what happened with him sucked, but I'm not him and if you think I am then the point of this conversation I moot."

I could see the muscles in his arms tensing, his expression wounded and angry. He was waging an internal war between his anger at having to admit that he was hurt by what I said and pretending to not care.

"I know you aren't, thank god you aren't," I took a step forward, and this time he let me rest my fingers around his wrist, his skin hot beneath my palm, "I know there's no excuse for what I said to you, but in that moment I was so honestly terrified and I couldn't find an explanation and then you were there, comforting me, and it seemed too kind for such a moment and I panicked and I thought I had to figure it out, to figure everything out and you were so angry with him and I so badly didn't want it to be true that I thought it must be."

He was silent, and I was too afraid to meet his eyes.

When it became too much for me I tightened my fingers around his arm and sighed, pressing my forehead against his knuckles, staring at his booted feet, "I know it's no excuse."

I felt him exhale heavily and his black laces moved closer to mine. I felt like a boulder had lifted off my shoulders when his warm arms dropped around my body and his chin pressed onto the top of my head, "I don't want to be someone you're afraid of."

I shook my head, pressing my cheek against his heart and wrapped my arms around his waist, securing my body against his "I'm more afraid of me and how the hell I would possibly lead these people without you."

He laughed softly, pressing his lips to my hair, "Without me you'd turn them all into softies within the day."

I smiled against his shirt, "Not to be nosey, but where were you though? Jasper said you were meant to be on duty?"

I felt him tense against me and I braced myself for his anger, but instead he sounded embarrassed, "I figured he would be okay for a moment, so I went and one of the guys gave me a bowl of food, but afterwards I felt really tired so I just sort of dosed in the bottom level of the drop ship and I woke up to the yelling."

"It's not your fault," I said, gripping a handful of his shirt in my fist, "I am willing to bet you were drugged."

"I should have seen it coming," His arms tightened around me, "I'm so sorry Clarke, now we might never know why the hell he attacked you, god that's on me I know it—"

I cut him off drawing my head away from his chest, and pressing my palm to his mouth, "I don't blame you at all, and you don't need to worry about that, I think I have an idea."

"What's that?" he asked, pulling my hand away from my mouth and entwining his fingers through mine. Neither of us were making any effort to hide our affection from those around us.

"I think I know who can tell me who Gerard Riley was and I think I know who killed him," I clenched my teeth, "It's time to get Raven to fix that radio, it's about time we attempted contact with the Ark."

**Please drop a review (-: Thanks for reading! **


	12. Chapter 12 - A revolt

**Ah a later update, this chapter was a little bit forced! It's more plot continuation then Bellarke but I hope you enjoy! It's also a long chapter so yay for that! **

Bellamy POV

I slid the back of my hand across my forehead, digging my wrist into the gap between my eyes. I had spoken to Miller about Clarke's suspicions and she had gone to ask Raven about working on getting the radio fixed. I felt momentarily guilty for tossing it into the river but the feeling was immediately overtaken by confusion and frustration. It had been difficult for me to forgive Clarke and part of me felt that I had almost given in too easily to her sincere blue eyes and the way they pleaded with me, her fingers, reassuring on my arm. But I had understood why she had been suspicious, she hadn't been in the right mindset after seeing Gerard Riley's mangled body and I had been on guard duty at the time, it was a reasonable conclusion to draw. But that didn't prevent the sting of betrayal from burning through my chest. I didn't really know what was happening between myself and Clarke Griffin but the idea that she could suspect me of such an abhorrent act made me feel sick.

"Bellamy," Miller's voice broke me out of my reverie and I blinked, turning to face him, "I haven't told anyone about the, ah, suspect but I think we better confirm quickly otherwise he might get the drift that something is happening and bail."

I nodded, rubbing my fingertips against my temples, "Yeah, I'll go and see how Raven is going with that radio, otherwise there's not a lot we can be doing."

He nodded and I headed off toward the drop ship. My muscles felt taut beneath my skin, as if someone had sent a jolt of electricity through my body and it was now impossible to relax. I twisted my neck to the side, rubbing the tips of my fingers into my shoulders, hoping to relieve some of the tension. I wasn't scared of having a potential killer in the camp, at least not for myself, I was angry and anxious to discover for sure who they were. I was angry that I had beaten an attempted murderer and it had given me no answers. There was no pleasure in that, and now the boy was dead and I still didn't know why he'd attempted to beat Clarke to death with his gun.

"Any success?" I demanded, perhaps a little too harshly, as I entered the ship.

Raven, Clarke, Finn and Jasper were standing inside, clustered around a small makeshift table. Raven and Jasper were examining what appeared to be parts of the radio and Clarke and Finn were talking quietly beside them. I felt a flicker of jealousy shoot through my body and I swallowed quickly, yanking a little too violently at my hair.

"Slow down cowboy, it's going to be a while before we see any progress," Raven replied, shooting a raised eyebrow look my way, "What's wrong with you?"

I clenched my fists at my sides, "There's a murderer in the camp, am I the only one who thinks that is a problem?" I snapped.

"Woah," Raven glared, turning away from what she was doing, "If you hadn't destroyed the damn radio, perhaps progress would be a little quicker!"

I opened my mouth to retort, but Clarke cut me off, "Look we're all worried about it Bellamy, and Raven is moving as fast as she can, perhaps if we give her some space it might be easier." She stepped forward, the top of her head just in line with my collarbones; she pressed my hand gently to my waist, soothing.

"Sorry." I sighed, nodding at Raven and lifting one of my hands to rest on top of Clarke's, her fingers cool beneath mine. It was a gesture I figured looked casual enough.

A look from Finn told me that I was wrong. Dropping my hand, I stepped away from Clarke, refusing to meet her eyes, "Let me know when you get in contact with them." I said, clearing my throat and moving out of the doorway.

"Wait." She had this voice that made my feet stop in their tracks, even if they were intent on moving forward. I couldn't explain it to myself, it was level and quiet, but it had a power over me that confused and frustrated me to no end, I hated letting someone have any form of power over me. It was weakness. I couldn't afford it.

I turned slowly to face her, "What is it Clarke? I have things to be doing."

Her forehead crinkled slightly and I longed to smooth my fingers across the furrows, "Is there, is there something wrong? I thought we were okay." He voice dipped at the end, worry beginning to lace her words.

I exhaled heavily, clenching my teeth together. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me. Yes I'd forgiven her, or rather I thought I had. But things were beginning to nag at me. Firstly the idea that her accusation had, had that sort of effect on me and secondly the fact that I'd forgiven her so easily. Why did this girl make me doubt every single barrier I'd ever built around myself? I never forgave people who shunned me, with the exception of my little sister.

I flattened my fingers against my eyelids, pressing the cool tips into my skin, hoping for a respite from the confusion. I was beginning to get a headache.

"We are okay," I kept my fingers pressed to my eyelids, "I'm just busy."

Leaves crunched beneath her boots and I knew even without removing my fingers from my eyes that she was moving closer. "Bellamy," She whispered, small fingers wrapping around my wrist and gently tugging it free of my face, "You don't have to do this."

"Do what?" I retorted, letting her keep hold of my wrist.

She sighed, rolling her eyes, "You know what. You're not made of stone."

Her words reminded me of another girl, only days prior, _"You're not a stone wall Bellamy." _Octavia's face swam across my vision and for a moment I thought I would faint.

"Yet," I started, "When I did let you in, you accused me of being a murderous fiend."

I could tell my words hurt because she appeared to almost take a physical step back, "I said I was sorry," She whispered, conflicting emotions raging through her eyes, "I don't know what else I can do."

I immediately regretted my words. Two weeks ago I wouldn't have.

"Look," I sighed, dropping my hand to rest against the warm pulse at her neck, "I didn't mean it that way, god I just," I struggled to grasp the words I was searching for, "I'm not good at this."

Clarke's mouth curved slightly and she pressed her hand against mine, stepping forward so that her other hand was wrapping around my waist, "For what it's worth," She stood on her tiptoes and pushed my damp hair away from my forehead, "I still think you're doing okay."

I could feel the dimples forming on my cheeks.

Clarke's POV

I had wanted to twist my fingers through Bellamy's unruly hair and hold him for the foreseeable future, destroying whatever worries ravaged his body, but duty called. We had parted amicably and I knew that we were okay for now and I'd made my way back to the drop ship to hang out with Raven.

I watched her work on the device for what felt like hours, with Jasper and her muttering nonsensical technical jargon to each other, every word lost on me. Eventually as the sun was beginning to dip below the tree line, spreading a glow of orange and pink across the campsite, the radio crackled.

"100 base to the Ark, do you read?" Raven said, pressing her finger down on the button at the top of the device.

We waited in silence, the only sound the popping of the radio.

"100 base to the Ark, do you read?" Raven repeated, louder.

My heart was beginning to sink.

"_100 base, this is the Ark." _The voice crackled through the tiny speaker and beside me, Octavia squealed.

Raven handed the radio to me, and gestured for me to speak. I heard Jasper mutter for someone to get Bellamy.

"Ark, this is Clarke Griffin," I stated firmly, "I need to speak immediately with Chancellor Jaha and Abby Griffin."

"_100 base, we will put you through immediately." _The disembodied voice sounded.

There was silence and we all waited with baited breath, I could feel my heart beat pounding through body, my palms sweaty. I wasn't sure that I was even ready to speak to my mother, but I had to inquire about Gerard Riley.

"_Clarke?" _My mother's voice sounded unfamiliar over the radio, but it still sent a flicker of longing and anger through me.

"It's me," I replied unemotionally, "I need to make an inquiry about one of the members of the 100, there's been a threat and a murder within the camp and this information will be vital."

"_Clarke I thought you were dead, I thought—" _I wasn't sure whether her voice was shaking or whether it was the crackle of the handset.

"I need that information now." I stated, not even recognizing the tone of my voice.

Her voice turned professional, "_Of course, what's their name?"_

I glanced around me quickly to make sure that we were alone in the drop ship. Bellamy had made his way in quietly and was standing in the doorway, making sure that no one was entering and Jasper, Octavia and Raven stood with me.

"I need to know about Gerard Riley."

My mother was silent.

"Mum?" I asked, unsure of what else was appropriate to call her.

"_Yes sorry, I'm here. That name was just a bit of a shock. He's the son of Peter and Hannah Riley, Peter was floated and Hannah died."_

"Why? And how did he land in jail?" I asked, my throat beginning to dry up.

"_Peter Riley was floated for attacking a senior medical officer after she failed to save the life of his wife Hannah and after finding out both his parents had died Gerard apparently attempted to fight his way out and so he was chucked in jail."_

I tried to process the information, "I'm guessing that officer was you?" My tone was bitter.

"_Yes," _I could hear her sigh, _"Everyone is only allowed a limited amount of medical supplies and they knew that, yet they still wanted a less safe version of an operation attempted, and it failed." _

"Okay," I used my free hand to massage my aching temples, "Do you have any information on a Jacob Reynolds?"

I lowered my voice, suddenly terrified that the burly boy would burst into the drop ship and rip the radio from my hands.

"_Give me a moment," _She replied, and I knew she must be bringing up his profile, _"Yeah, Reynolds, both his parents were floated for stealing dangerous medicinal drugs and he's in for multiple counts of violence and abuse." _

I was beginning to see a pattern, and the dryness in my throat was making it more difficult to speak, "Could you bring up the profile of a Diane? I don't know her last name."

The others were giving me strange looks, Raven raised her eyebrows.

"_Yeah Diane Hughes," _She paused humming and huhing, "_Yep, father floated when she was fourteen, it doesn't say why, and she was jailed for causing serious injuries to a guard."_

"That's all the information we need for now," I said calmly, "One of the others will update Chancellor Jaha if you can put them through to him, thank you for your time."

"_Clarke—" _her voice was pleading.

I pressed the radio into Jasper's palm and grabbed both Raven and Octavia, leading them over to where Bellamy was standing, looking confused.

"What just happened?" Raven demanded, Jasper's voice murmuring in the background.

"I think we have a revolt on our hands," I said quickly, "All of them had parents who it sounds as though they were controversially floated, and I think that they are all part of a group. If so, they will be holding grudges against me for my position in the Ark and now my position in this new society. For Riley it seems it was more personal."

"Wait, why them?" Octavia asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

"Gerard attempted to kill me, we all know that. I reckon that Reynolds drugged Bellamy and killed Gerard because he was afraid that he would talk, and as for Diane, she definitely had a hold over that girl Ella, as if she was defending someone. I'm willing to bet that both her and Reynolds had a hand in framing Bellamy. They're also a couple which would explain why she was so willing to defend him."

Silence briefly followed my little rant.

"That's an awful lot of assuming," Bellamy started, "But it would make a lot of sense."

"But we don't have hard proof," Raven groaned, smoothing the flyaway pieces of her back off her forehead.

"I know," I ground my teeth in frustration.

Bellamy placed a comforting hand on my elbow, "We need to do some interrogating, but right now we can't afford to hold off, suspicions are almost as good as hard proof as far as any of us can be concerned."

I leaned back slightly, so that my back was pressed against his side, letting the warmth emanating off his body calm me. His scent filled my nostrils.

"We need to be careful," I said, "And for now we need to keep this between us, Jasper, Monty and possibly Miller."

"Don't worry Clarke," Octavia smiled, sending Bellamy a quick conspiratorial grin, "My big brother isn't going to let anything happen to you."

**Please drop a review! (-: **


	13. Chapter 13 - Warmth

**I didn't really edit/proofread so apologies for mistakes. Enjoy **

Clarke POV

I pulled my knees up to my chest, letting my eyes wander across the campsite. Recent events had been like a kick in the face, a reminder that being aware at all times in a place like this was crucial. I watched as people crowded around the fire, laughing as they helped others serve up food, some sipping what I suspected was moonshine. Finn and Raven wandered across my line of site and disappeared behind a tent. I wondered briefly whether they were okay or whether they were fighting, but I found that I didn't really mind either way. It was then that I fully realized that all my feelings toward Finn had entirely dissipated without me really realizing. My mind was filled with a much different face. A face with freckles and an upper lip dimple, with deep brown eyes and sharp cheekbones.

I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, blackening out the world for a moment. It had come to me in the drop ship, conversing with my mother, why Gerard Riley had seemed familiar. I remembered assisting in the healing of his mother, her rounded cheeks and golden hair, the exact same as her young son, whose face I remember seeing pressed around the corner of the medical bay. The fear in his eyes had been the same, his shaking voice when I had comforted him the same as when he pleaded me to be quiet, pleaded for me to die. I exhaled heavily, biting down hard on my tongue and tasting blood. It seemed so long ago that I had struggled down a ravine to save Bellamy, and eons ago that I'd been safe up on the Ark with a mother whom I loved and an ex-best friend who I had detested. The thought of Wells sent pains through my chest. This new world was cruel. I was determined that I would do everything in my power to keep the remnants of the 100 safe and if that meant banishing every potential traitor in the camp then I would.

"Hey, I heard the communication with the Ark was successful?" I pulled my hands away from my eyes, blinking to dispel the black spots that swam across my vision. Monty stood in front of me, hands pushed awkwardly into his pockets, his smile crooked.

"Yeah actually," I replied, climbing to my feet and brushing the dust off the back of my pants, "It was better than we expected, hopefully Raven says we should be able to maintain a steady contact with them whenever we need, which will be good!"

"That's great, we could do with some more information about the plantation around this area." Monty exclaimed excitedly as we both began to descend down toward the campfire.

"Perhaps we can get someone to take down an inventory!" I replied, mirroring his enthusiasm, "It might take a while to handwrite, but it'd be extremely helpful for both medical and edible plant life, even hygienic!"

"Did someone say hygienic?" Raven sidled up beside us, "I could really use a nice lavender shampoo right now."

"You know it was only ever chemically created artificial lavender scents in those things," Monty pointed out, "They pretty much produced a random scent and attributed it to the purple earth growing plant lavender."

"Thanks for ruining the only nice thing the Ark had going for it." Raven sighed dramatically.

Monty smiled shyly, "What do you mean, that dehydrated chemical almost-meat was delicious!"

We all laughed and my cheeks hurt in the best way possible. Humour was something earth hadn't offered a lot of.

Movement by the fence caught my eye and I automatically turned, starting when I realized that it was Bellamy and Reynolds. Even from this distance I could see the tension in Bellamy's stance, his tight grip on his gun, the veins on his neck standing out, but his face was calm. He even sent Reynolds a small smile and I relaxed, it was too early to give anything away to him.

"I'll be back," I said quickly to Raven and Monty, ducking around them and walking toward the two boys.

Reynolds greeted me with a smug nod as I approached, "Princess, heard you attempted to contact the Ark and it didn't go to well."

I avoided Bellamy's eyes and resisted the urge to punch Reynolds in the face, "Yeah unfortunately, luckily we aren't really desperate to communicate with them at this moment."

"You aren't desperate to talk to mummy?" He mocked, "Maybe she could magically give us an explanation for that idiot Riley."

I shrugged, irritation almost overwhelming me, "I doubt it, I reckon he was probably just acting alone."

Reynolds frowned, his eyes darting briefly toward Bellamy, "Right, well I better go check on Diane, that girl Ella is pretty freaked still."

Worry pooled in my stomach as I realized the position I'd just put us in. I'd made it look to Diane and Ella that I potentially believed them that Bellamy was responsible, yet here I was with him, in front of Reynolds. I prayed that Reynolds assumed I was trying to keep Bellamy in the dark rather than outing him without evidence.

"I want to rip his head off." Bellamy hissed from beside me as we watched Reynolds' retreating back.

I shook my head, still tasting blood from where I'd bitten my tongue earlier, "No way, that'll be my job."

He raised his eyebrows, amusement tugging at his lips, "Wow princess, when did you become a brutal maniac?"

I rolled my eyes, elbowing him in the side, "You know what I mean, I don't want to cower in front of these monsters anymore, I am not going to let them have control."

He nodded, biting his lip in, unable to keep the smile of his lips, "You look really cute when you're trying to be tough."

My stomach somersaulted at his compliment, Bellamy Blake thought I was _cute. _I frowned up at him, in feign anger, "I am being serious! Can you teach me defensive skills?"

He pressed his lips together to prevent a full smile from breaking across his mouth, crossing his arms across his chest and surveying me with mock seriousness, "Well, I mean we could try but you aren't very intimidating to start with—"

I smacked my palm hard across his arm, and took a step back, balling my hands into fists and raising them threateningly in front of me, "I could be plenty intimidating!"

He rubbed his hand across his forearm where I'd slapped him, outwardly grinning now, "Firstly, get your thumb out of your fist," He pried my fingers apart with his calloused ones, "Secondly, you need to hit like you mean it, and I know you think you would in the situation, but when your fist hits actual flesh and you have to keep going, it's a little different." He was beginning to get more serious.

"It's not like I've never hit anyone before," I grumbled, stepping apart so that I was in a balanced position, keeping my fists raised.

"I know," He sighed, running his fingers through his tousled hair, "I don't doubt your bravery at all Clarke, I remember that day with Atom. I just don't think you're the type of person who would continue to punch someone, enough to badly hurt them in order to prevent them from hurting you."

I bit my lip, nodding, "Yeah, but I want to learn the skills and moves that will allow to disable someone, otherwise if someone like Riley comes after me again, I'm dead."

I didn't mean for the words to sound so morbid, but I couldn't keep the certainty from my voice.

He stepped forward, catching my fists and wrapping his hands around so that both my fists were completely covered by his long fingers, his eyes burning into mine, "I am not going to let that happen," His voice low and menacing, "If anyone ever tries something again I will kill them myself."

I pried my hands free from his and instead wrapped both my hands around his two, stepping forward so that our intertwined hands were pressed to both our chests, "I know you would, but you aren't a cold-blooded killer Bellamy, and I wouldn't let you do that to yourself."

His gaze was so intense I almost had to look away, "It wouldn't be cold-blooded killing, it would be for the safety of my people," I opened my mouth but he cut me off, "Even so, it'd make both of us sleep easier if you could defend yourself better."

I smiled, moving his hands so that they were resting on my waist, before gently trailing my hands up his sides. The electricity between us was palpable, we hadn't had a moment alone in a couple of days and I ached to feel his skin against mine. Slowly he bent his head toward me, his hands on my waist becoming fists as he grabbed handfuls of my shirt, his pinky tracing the skin above my hip. I could feel the heat from his lips before they finally pressed against mine, warm, familiar and soft. One of my hands couldn't resist sliding up his spine and tangling itself in his curly dark hair, twisting in the damp hair at the base of his neck. Beads of sweat, pressing against my palm.

He groaned slightly in my mouth and heat spread through my body, dipping below my navel. I pressed our bodies closer, closer, feeling his hard stomach flush up against mine.

I yanked my mouth away from his as an icy gust of wind reminded me that we were still outside and in the possible view of other people. Our faces were inches away from each other, I could still taste his lips against mine, his eyes burned along my skin, the expression in them, turning my body to molten lava.

"We should probably take this somewhere more private." I whispered, a shy grin creeping onto my lips.

His returning smile was cheeky and dimpled, and as he gently lowered my body I realized that I'd been on my tip toes, desperate to reach his mouth. My cheeks flushed and I dropped my eyes from his, relieved to find that there was no one around us.

His hand found mine and we quietly threaded our way past the other tents, I felt sure that any onlookers would know exactly what we had just been up too.

He tugged me into his tent, and immediately I felt nervous. Bellamy had slept with a lot of girls in this tent and suddenly images of them pressed against his skin, their mouths on his neck, was overwhelming. He turned slowly, sending me an almost shy smile. My stomach jolted, I had only ever slept with Finn and I knew that Bellamy was more experienced and I began to feel light-headed as I thought about his expectations.

"Clarke woah," he reached out to steady me with fingers around my wrist, "Are you alright, you look really pale?"

I inhaled, trying to send him a weak smile, "I, I'm just not sure what you want from," I paused gesturing between him and I and then tent, "From all this."

The furrow in his forehead deepened, "From all what?"

I gently removed my hand from his, pressing my palms against the outside of my thighs, "From you and me, I'm not, I don't want to be one of your sex buddies."

His eyebrows raised at 'sex buddies', "That's not what I want either."

"It isn't?" I asked, a new feeling expanding inside me.

He shook his head, re-capturing my hand, "Those girls, we all had an agreement, it was just comfort, another human to take away from the isolation that earth brought with it, but with you, it's different," His cheeks flushed, "I really like you Clarke, and not just because I know the camp needs your medicinal skills or because you're beautiful, I mean I _like _you and that hasn't really happened to me before."

He seemed to realize he'd said too much and I could almost physically see the walls slamming back into place in his eyes alongside panic.

I quickly squeezed his hand, pressing my spare hand to his cheek, "I," My cheeks flushed to match his, probably more noticeable on my pale skin, "I really like you as well, and not just because we need you to lead the 100 or because you still looked good even after almost dying."

His brown eyes seemed to thaw and he grinned, extricating his hand from mine and using it to push a strand of blonde hair behind my ear, "We sure do make a pretty formidable pair."

**Please review x **


	14. Chapter 14 - A grounder called Lincoln

**Sorry for the length between the last update and this but I honestly had zero motivation for a while. Perhaps it's because I haven't watched the show in a while and reviews dwindled quite a bit. But I re-checked the other day and a few more lovely people had left some really nice reviews (thank you for that!) and I felt monumentally guilty for not updating so I inspired myself and whipped this chapter up, so I hope you enjoy! I also started reading the 100 book by Kass Morgan and so far I'm pretty disappointed to be honest but I am hoping to give it more of a go. **

Bellamy POV

Waking up in warm arms was something that I would never get enough of. It was such a striking contrast to the days on the Ark, with the cold walls, cold floor, cold hinged door. Every morning I almost had to pinch myself to remind me that I wasn't dreaming. I woke with my nose pressed against Clarke's hair, her scent overwhelming my senses. My tent had become our place. In the mornings the morning sun would create a warm glow inside the material walls, a sleepy light that kissed Clarke's face in a way that made her look perpetually soft and untouched by the cruelty of earth. It wasn't often that I woke before her, but it was something I enjoyed more than I would ever let on. It allowed me to see the way she'd involuntarily moved closer (if that was possible), to me in the middle of the night, the way her fingers always found their way to my own. I sighed watching the way my breath gently caressed a few tendrils of her blonde hair and the way her nose was squashed slightly to the side from having her cheek pressed against my chest. Being this close to someone physically wasn't exactly unfamiliar to me, but it was different. It wasn't as though the girls I'd slept with didn't snuggle against me in the mornings, but it always had an air of awkwardness, bumping knees, cold fingers on my skin, jostling each other to get comfortable. I'd never imagined being entirely comfortable with a girl curled up against me. Sure, her hair was tickling the skin on my neck and the tip of her index finger was cold against my side, but somehow I didn't mind.

Octavia was going to have a field day if she ever so much as sensed the thoughts going through my head right now.

A wail cut through the early morning silence and Clarke jerked, her head hitting my hard in the jaw, causing my teeth to knick my tongue, a coppery taste filling my mouth. I groaned.

"What's happening?" Clarke pulled herself upright and turned to me, her hair unruly.

I pressed my finger against the tip of my tongue and winced when it came away red.

"Oh!" She said, "I'm so sorry! I thought I heard something, are you okay?"

I smiled, yanking a shirt over my head, "Don't panic princess, even if your head is like a rock, I think I'll survive and you did hear something, I better check it out."

She punched me playfully in the shoulder, rolling her eyes and yawning, "I'll come with you."

"It's probably just someone playing a prank or something," I shrugged, climbing to my feet and giving a still slightly disoriented Clarke a hand up.

Another piercing scream cut through the air followed by a deep familiar voice yelling, "Bellamy Blake, if you're not out here in ten seconds I will cut her throat!"

I sent Clarke a panicked glance and stormed out of the tent, grabbing my gun as I went, and my eyes immediately zeroed in on the commotion and my heart rose into my throat, anger burning through my brain.

Reynolds stood by the gate, his knife pressed against Octavia's neck, a few people stood behind him, some wielding weapons, among them I recognized Diane and Ella. A few other people stood wearily back, some aiming weapons at him, others trying to remain unnoticed.

"Let her go," I yelled, marching toward him, my gun already up and ready to shoot, "Or I will fucking kill you."

Reynolds laughed, a cruel sound, "I have six men behind me with weapons who will kill you and your sister if you even try, so drop the gun or I spill her blood."

I felt a reassuring hand rest on my shaking forearm and Clarke stepped up just in front of me, "What do you want Reynolds?" She asked calmly.

"What do I want?" He asked, "I princess, want you to die ideally, but primarily I want control over this camp and I want to eradicate anyone who opposes that."

"What makes you think you have the right?" I snapped, "Just let Octavia go and fight me like a man you cowardly swine."

"Bellamy," Clarke said just quiet enough so that only I could hear, "Don't fuel the fire."

"What make _you _two think _you _have the right to rule?" He retaliated, "And I don't think so."

"Why are you doing this?" Clarke asked, anger beginning to intertwine with her calm attitude.

"Because if I don't step up for _my _people," He hissed, "This puny earth expedition will continue to fuel the inequality that existed on the Ark. People like us, will go back to being discriminated against and people like you will continue to casually murder anyone who gets in your way."

"My father was floated too," Clarke snapped, "There is no discrimination here and if this is some personal vendetta, I had nothing to do with any of your family being floated."

Her composure was beginning to waver and I was the one having to place a reassuring hand on her back. My eyes however were glued to Octavia, who was standing frozen, her hands in fists at her sides.

"It was personal for that fool Riley, but to be honest princess I don't give a damn what happens to your privileged ass, as long as it's far away from me," He laughed again, "For now, I need you to destroy that radio and then we will decide who gets banished."

"If anyone is getting banished it's you," I snarled, "Let Octavia go now, she did nothing to you."

"Oh no, but she means so much to you and you're bowing to the pressure of this privileged bitch," He gestured to Clarke and I struggled to refrain from throwing a knife at his head, "And together you'll bow to the pressure of Jaha and help to turn the earth into Ark take two and I just can't let that happen."

"Reynolds," Clarke said, "No one wants to go back to the societal structure of the Ark, that's not what we're trying to achieve and we're not going to let that happen, but threatening us is not the way to go about it and neither is murdering people."

Reynolds lip twisted in amusement, "So you did know that I killed Riley, I thought you might have but I wasn't sure. He was weak and I don't need weakness. I need strength to overthrow what is in place."

"Do you really believe all this shit you're spouting or are you attempting to act all mighty in front of your girlfriend?" I snapped, "Because I never penned you to have the slightest inclination toward equality, especially since you murdered someone for what you saw as weakness."

I was struggling to keep my anger at bay and my fear for Octavia was beginning to make me see red. I had never felt so helpless in my life.

Anger flooded Reynold's eyes and he tightened his grip on Octavia, "You keep your filthy mouth shut or I swear that I will kill her."

The cool metal of my gun felt as if it was burning beneath my fingertips and just as I was about to throw myself at him, a whistling howled through the air before a long spear thwacked straight into the back of Reynolds' shin.

His screamed a blood curdling sound, releasing Octavia and dropping to his knees, a flurry of curses gushing from his lips. O ran toward me and I caught her, wrapping my arms around her waist and pressing her tightly against me, whispering unintelligible comforts into her ear.

Meanwhile, the people behind Reynolds had rushed forward and hoisted him to his feet, the spear still protruding from his leg.

"GET THE HELL OUT!" He screamed and after panicked glances both toward us and toward where the spear had come from, they raced out the gate, dragging Reynolds' with them.

Diane screamed in frustration and a few of the men fired gunshots randomly toward us as a few of the men began to advance toward them. I kept hold of Octavia.

I watched as someone scooped up Ella and they all disappeared out the gate, the sounds of their feet trampling through the undergrowth and their shouts echoing through the air. We stood frozen and Miller and a few others made a move to follow them.

"Wait!" I commanded, letting go of Octavia and stepping forward, "Leave them for now, we outnumber them and with their leader injured, grounders and nowhere to go, they have bigger problems right now. We need to regroup."

Miller nodded, gesturing for the others to close the gate, "Why the hell did the grounders attack him specifically and why now and what the hell is going on?"

"I don't know," I answered, rubbing my hand across my forehead, "We need to figure out if all the traitors left and we need to…"

I struggled to find the right words, suddenly overwhelmed. The pressure of being in charged was suddenly heavy on my shoulders, their lives were in my hands.

"Miller," Clarke's commanding voice began, "Regroup the guards and figure out how many weapons and men we lost, also make sure someone is on lookout all the time and try to pinpoint exactly where that spear came from. Roma gather some people and search their tents and see if you can find anything, the rest of you, we need to get back to our daily duties and anyone who's injured, meet me in the medical bay immediately."

She turned to me, squeezing my wrist for a moment, "Octavia is okay Bell."

Clarke POV

My heart still seemed to be struggling to return to it's normal pace after the mornings events and my mind hadn't stopped racing. How many people were sided with Reynolds? How did they come to be? What were the grounders playing at? How were we going to be sure of safety now?

"Clarke," Octavia's soft voice broke me from my thoughts and I turned to see her standing awkwardly by the table, her fingers twisting in her tunic, "I need to tell you something."

I forced a small smile, "Sure O, of course, what's up?"

"You have to promise not to tell my brother." She said.

"Is it about a boy?" I teased, wriggling my eyebrows.

To my surprise she didn't smile, if anything she seemed to pale slightly, "Yes."

I frowned, "Why so serious than? Afraid Bellamy will murder him?"

"Yes, actually." She replied biting down hard on her lip, confusing me even further.

"O I don't—"

"I know why the grounders threw that spear at Reynolds." She interrupted.

"Okay? I don't understand how—"

She sighed, twisting her hands violently through her long hair, "The grounder who threw it, his name is Lincoln. We've sort of being seeing each other."

I felt as though I had just been slapped in the face with a brick of ice, "You what!?" I choked out.

She fidgeted anxiously, "Look, I met him when I was out foraging once and he saved me from another grounder and he's not like the others, he's doesn't agree with them attacking and everything and he lives alone and doesn't partake in their fights or anything, he's really nice."

I tried to swallow this information but I'm sure the shocked expression hadn't faded from my face, "So what, he threw the spear to save you?"

She nodded, "Yeah, at least I think so, I haven't been able to sneak out and see him because there's so many guards."

I slowly lowered myself onto a makeshift chair, "I think I'm going to be sick."

"He's not a monster!" Octavia snapped, "I thought you'd under—"

"Not because of that," I cut her off, "Just that you've been risking your life and your brother would absolutely crack if he knew and it's just a lot of information to process right now."

"I know," She sighed, her voice softening, "Look Clarke, I really wanted to tell you but I know that you and Bell are, you know and I didn't want to load you with this information and then tell you to keep it from him, that's not fair. But after today, I felt like you had to know."

"Yeah." I said weakly, pressing the heels of my hands into my eyes.

Bellamy was going to kill us both.

**Please drop a review (-:**


	15. Chapter 15 - We're outta seaweed

**Thanks for the reviews! No I didn't specify that Reynolds was killed (the spear hit the back of his leg and he was dragged out of the camp by the others)! You'll find out more in this chapter and the next what happens with him! Enjoy xxx**

Clarke POV

"Is this all the seaweed we have left?" Octavia asked, her brow crinkling in worry as she looked through the meagre pile in front of her.

I nodded, worrying at my lower lip, "Yeah, we've basically been on lock down for days now and the majority of the seaweed we did have has begun to rot and Raven and I had to toss it away yesterday."

"What are we going to do?" she exhaled through her teeth, "Most of the other ingredients for the other things are running low as well."

"We're going to have to go out and search for more," I sighed, massaging my temples, "Or rather you or I will and I doubt Bellamy is willing to let anyone incapable of properly using a firearm out of the camp."

"Or rather he's not going to let his beloved sister or his girl out." Octavia said with surprising animosity, obviously the Lincoln situation was weighing on her mind, "Seriously, we can't treat injuries without these things and if he can't see that then he's being dumb."

"O, you can't blame him for wanting to keep everyone safe," I sighed, twisting my fingers through my hair and tying it at the base of my neck with a barely existent elastic band to keep it out of my face and ignoring her 'his girl' comment, "But you're right, we can't treat anything with nothing left."

"Maybe you could _persuade _him." She teased, bumping her hip into mine and making inappropriate movements.

"Ew O!" I cried, smacking her away, but not able to keep the grin off my face.

Eventually we settled on going to find him together and attempting to convince him simply by explaining the situation. It took a while to convince him, he was still pretty shaken from the attack and downright refused to let Octavia leave the confines of the camp, which caused Octavia to throw a mini tantrum, letting a flow of curse words from her lips. None of which fazed Bellamy in the slightest.

"What, so you're happy to put your _lover _in danger?" Octavia hissed spitefully in a way that made me for the first time, truly see how young she was.

Bellamy's fists tightened and his cheeks reddened and I elbowed Octavia in the side, she wasn't helping our case at all.

"Shut up O," I muttered, struggling to meet Bellamy's intense searching gaze, "Look, we need these supplies and I am the best person for the job, send me with twenty bloody guards if you must but we _need _these things and I am going with or without your approval."

I maintained my stance, firmly meeting Bellamy's gaze and not breaking it. Once upon a time one glare from him could make me rethink my decisions, but I wasn't going to back down now, not even when his eyes softened slightly and pleaded instead. They silently implored me to not force him into this situation, and as much as I wanted to give in to the warm way that he was looking at me, I couldn't. Seeming to realize that it was a lost cause, he broke the contact and flickered his eyes up to the heavens and back down.

"Fuck me," He muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair in defeat, "O, you're definitely not leaving. Clarke, I'll come with you and bring Miller and a couple of other men and we can leave Raven and perhaps Roma in charge while we're gone, but we're also not staying out more than two hours, clear?"

Octavia huffed and muttered something that sounded a lot like 'bloody buffoon of a brother' under her breath before tramping away across the camp.

I nodded, sending him a small reassuring smile and reaching my hand out to tangle with his own, "We're always going to be in danger here Bell, you can't be expected to protect everyone by yourself."

He nodded, disentangling his hand from mine and slowly reaching up to tug the band free from my hair, twisting his hands through the loose strands and resting his warm palm on my neck, "I can try." He whispered, brushing the pad of his thumb against my chin and lower lip.

I smiled against his thumb, pressing my hand against his, holding it in place. Tender Bellamy was someone I was beginning to see more and more and each time his skin touched mine butterflies would erupt underneath my skin, my breath catching in my throat.

I stepped forward and quickly pressed my lips to his cheek, inhaling in his woody scent before sending him a cheeky grin as his eyes followed me, a small smile tugging at his lips, "We better get going."

Bellamy POV

I'd decided that despite the dangers, it would be better to take a smaller group, that way we would draw less attention. But even with Clarke's reassurances and the soft laughter of the men beside me, chattering quietly, their guns at the ready, I felt uneasy. There were so many dangers out here, not to mention the now added danger of Reynolds and his gang who were god knows where probably planning a retaliation. Thankfully the river wasn't that far from our camp so I hoped that the expedition wouldn't take long. Clarke picked her way through the undergrowth beside me, her eyes constantly alert, her fingers pressed to the knife at her waist. I'd been tempted to give her a gun but she'd been happy without one – relying on my gun to watch her back. I had faith that she could protect herself if it came down to it as well.

The trip to the river was uneventful except for Miller stepping in an old grounder trap that snapped upwards, launching a rotting log out from the treetops toward us. Obviously it'd been there for a long time, unused and forgotten, probably meant for hunting animals for food. But when the wood hit the ground, exploding in a flurry of disintegrated wood we'd all jumped and Clarke had even dropped to the ground and my hand had been there, on her shoulder, pressing into her skin. Soon after we reached the river.

"Move as quickly as you can." I demanded to Clarke as she rolled up the bottoms of her pants and waded into the shallow river bank, watching carefully to make sure there was no creatures beneath the surface.

She rolled her eyes at me, "Chill out Bellamy."

I clenched my teeth, biting back a retort and turned to survey the area around us.

Everything appeared quiet, the wind gently whispered through the tree sending leaves fluttering through the air. The two men I'd brought with us stood near the river bank, Miller chatting animatedly to Clarke about the seaweed she was tucking into a small bag. They all seemed so at ease but I couldn't shake the feeling that send shivers along the back of my neck.

I paced restlessly, my eyes studying the treeline for any signs of danger. The uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach was stronger than before and Clarke's soft laughter seemed especially loud in the silence surrounding us. It was intensified, bouncing off the rocks, practically screaming to any surrounding people where we were.

"Hurry up and stop fucking around," I snapped at Miller and Clarke, who showed matching expressions of surprise.

"Bellamy would you—"Clarke started but was cut off when a loud crack sounded to my right.

I spun around, just in time to hoist my gun up and block the ark of an oncoming grounder weapon. The person wielding it however, was not a grounder, they let out an animalistic growl and hurled themselves at me, their fist catching me under the jawline. I kicked them hard in the ankle, thrusting the butt of my gun into their stomach and smashing my knuckles into the side of its head. The boy dropped to the ground, lifeless. I recognized him as one of the camp deserters, but I had no time to consider this as three other men were attacking the others.

I jumped over a rock, racing toward where Miller was fighting two of them, the other man, Jake appeared to be unconscious on the ground. The other attacker was on Clarke, throwing punches that she was blocking with her forearms, still up to her knees in the water.

I yanked knife from my belt and threw it, watching as it arched through the air and buried itself in one of their shoulders, leaving Miller fighting one. Clarke and the other man were too close together for me to throw anything without risk of hitting Clarke.

I threw myself toward him, crash tackling him into the water and pummelling my fists into his face. Suddenly I was assaulted by a memory; sitting around the fire chatting to him one night after a hunt, laughing. Now I was smashing my fist into his nose, causing rivulets of blood to run from his nostrils. For a moment I couldn't breathe, I stilled my fists and realized that he was unconscious, the water soaking his hair and clothes. I had travelled to earth with these people on the same drop ship, we'd made camp together and shared food, how the hell did we all manage to turn on each other? We considered the grounders as barbaric, yet there were none here now and there was blood being spilt.

Disgusted, I pulled myself to my feet and whipped around just in time to see Miller push the other guy backwards off a rock into the water. A sickening crunch sounded as he landed awkwardly in the shallow water, the murky water around him turning a horrible scarlet.

"Clarke!?" I called, twisting around, my eyes searching for her. Desperate.

"I think they took her," Miller said breathlessly, pressing his palms into his knees and bending over, a trail of blood trickling from a cut on his forehead "I tried to stop them, but I couldn't get to her."

Panic coursed through my blood stream as I desperately searched the surrounding shore with my eyes, how could I have let this happen? Obviously the three had been a diversion, it hadn't just been a random attack and we'd fallen for it and now she was gone. I felt as though I was back on the drop ship and they were taking O away again, except this time the girl had blonde hair and the abductors were far more unpredictable.

**Please drop a review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading (-: **


	16. Chapter 16 - Enemy lines

**Thank you so so much to the people who reviewed the last chapter! They were some of the kindest reviews I've received and I am so incredibly glad that you're enjoying it! I am really happy that you guys enjoy the way Bellarke is progressing, because I know that some people prefer things to run quicker than they are but in this situation I just don't find that particularly realistic (-: I am pretty excited for the next couple of chapters so stay tuned. I'm not really sure where the story is going to end up but hopefully I'll be able to continue it for a bit more xxx**

Clarke POV

The bitter, rough material was pressed up against my gums, dangerously close to my gag reflex, biting into the soft insides of my cheeks and making it impossible to make any sound except a groan. That earned me a hard elbow in the ribs from the boy to my right. Wincing I staggered along, allowing myself to be yanked by two boys who I vaguely recognized from around the camp. We'd been walking for what I guessed was around twenty minutes and with each step I became less hopeful that the boys would catch up to us and save me. I inhaled through my nose and tried to calm the harsh uneven drum beat that was my heart. What if they'd hurt Bellamy, or Miller, or one of the youngest of us, Jake?

Bellamy.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't imagine him dead. Wouldn't. There couldn't possibly be a time where the colour disappeared from his skin, when his eyes didn't hold a countless memories and thoughts that I ached to decode. It couldn't be possible that I would never feel his palms against my back again. There couldn't be Earth without Bellamy Blake. He was okay. He had to be.

"Knock her out," A boy from in front of me demanded suddenly, spinning to face me, his eyes the colour of metal, "We can't risk her escaping and remembering how to find it."

I went to protest and a small groan managed to slip through my lips before a pain ricocheted through the side of my scull and a black smoky haze clouded across my vision and I fell.

Bellamy POV

I couldn't think. God, everything was so loud around me. It all felt magnified, they may as well have been screaming straight into my ears, burning my ear drums. People were arguing in loud, ignorant voices, saying her name over and over again. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes so hard that I saw glimmering black and white lights, forcing myself to _think. _

"Bell," A soft reassuring hand gripped my forearm and I opened my eyes to see Octavia standing beside me, "Miller and Jake are alright, although Jake has concussion and what I think is a broken arm. What happened out there?"

"That's good," My words felt heavy and muted and I rubbed one hand against my forehead trying to clear some space in my mind, "We were attacked by Reynolds' men unexpectedly, we were outnumbered and somehow they took Clarke."

She nodded and I could feel her gaze scrutinizing me, trying to decipher my emotions, "What are we going to do?"

"I don't bloody know, I told her it was dangerous and yet she typically decided to be a big-headed righteous idiot and go right ahead and do it anyway. We can't put any more of our men in danger to go on some blind rescue mission. The princess will have to rescue herself." I pressed my teeth together and curled my fingers around my gun to prevent my hand from shaking, avoiding Octavia's eyes.

"Bell, you don't mean that," She said tentatively, tugging me so that I was facing her, her big eyes pleading with mine, "Clarke would go after you if you were in danger."

"That's because she doesn't think of consequences." I snapped, yanking my arm out of her grip and striding across the campsite, ignoring the ache that was stretching inside me like a gaping void.

-  
Clarke POV

I woke to cold water being sloshed over my face, the realization that the gag had been removed from my mouth and the nasty eyes of Diane.

"Wake up princess," She snapped, grabbing the front of my shirt and dragging me to my knees, "It's time to be of some use."

I was vaguely aware that I was being dragged down what appeared to be a short, dark tunnel, the walls were packed dirt and mud and there was another man beside Diane, I recognized him as the one who'd ordered for me to be knocked out. I made note to return the favour if I ever got out of here.

We came to a stop inside a tiny area that could barely be classified as a room, and my eyes immediately zeroed in on the reason I had been brought here. I was suddenly very awake. Part of me was surprised that I hadn't put two and two together earlier.

Reynolds was hunched in the corner of the room, propped up against the curved wall, his skin tinged a sickening grey colour. There was a ragged blood stained shirt tied around his knee and I could see from here that a sweaty fever had broken out across his forehead, above half closed eyes. He looked so incredibly vulnerable, the complete opposite to the boy who had held a knife to Octavia's neck and murdered Gerard Riley for being weak. He was a murderer on the brink of death and I was here to save his life.

"Oh my god." I whispered, taking an involuntary step toward him, my medical sympathy and training kicking in.

"Hey!" Diane lunged forward and dug her nails in my forearm, yanking me backwards, "Wait, you're going to fix him, you're going to make him better or you'll regret it."

Her voice was saturated with fear and uncertainty and I immediately knew that every person here had, had unblemished faith in Reynolds and the idea that they could lose him would destroy whatever rebellion they'd set up. Diane had appeared to have taken it upon herself to act as some sort of leader whilst her boyfriend was incapacitated, although I could see that she didn't really have any idea of how to do it. I felt momentary sympathy for both of them and the people who had blindly followed them, but it was quickly followed by anger at their stubborn foolishness.

I stood for a moment, torn. Part of me wanted to immediately do whatever I could to patch him back together. But I had to be sure of my life as well.

"Will you let me go if I do?" I met her eyes, trying to be as formidable as possible.

She bit her lip, pushing her hair anxiously behind her ear, and glaring at me, "I don't know, yeah, whatever just fix him now."

"I need certainty Diane, I won't do it if I'm just going to die afterwards."

She sneered, "What happened to selfless Clarke Griffin who'd save any person in need?"

I ignored her comment, "Promise that you'll let me go and I will do whatever I can."

"Fine," She shrugged, pushing me toward him, "Get to work."

I knelt down in front of Reynolds, peeling pack the soaking shirt to reveal the wound and the broken spear that remained impaled in his skin. I didn't believe her word for a second.

Bellamy POV

I tucked two extra knives into each of my boots and my usual handheld weapon into the waistline of my pants, hooking the heavy gun over my shoulder, being sure to check that it was topped up with bullets. I was just shoving a handmade water skin and a small handful of berries into my pocket when Raven whirled into my tent.

"I knew you weren't leaving her to die." She said smugly watching me zip my jacket up, one hand on her hip.

"Good for you." I snapped, pushing past her, hoping that she'd give up and leave me alone.

"I'm coming with you." She continued, keeping up with my pace as we weaved our way toward the front gate.

I stopped dead, planting my feet and glaring at the dark haired girl, "No way in hell, get back to whatever you were doing."

She raised her eyebrows at me, "You aren't a king and you aren't going to be able to do any good on your own."

I squeezed my eyes shut and reopened them, taking her in. She was gorgeous in a lean, almost exotic way, with bronze skin that was darker than mine and dark eyes that matched almost exactly with her long straight hair. A month ago I would have found her exquisitely appealing, now I just found her ridiculously annoying, like buzzing fly stuck in the uppermost corner of the tent at midnight. She reminded me of my sister.

"Look, I get that Clarke's your friend too but I'm not very confident that either of us will come back alive and I'm not willing to unnecessarily put more people in danger." I sighed, this was wasting valuable time that Clarke might not have.

She shook her head, "Going by yourself is a suicide mission, if you stopped being stubborn and righteous you'd realize that you'd have a better chance of surviving if you had someone to help."

I was beginning to realize why Finn and this girl hadn't worked out. There was no way in hell someone as whiny as Finn could have handled this headstrong, but almost admirably defiant girl.

"Borrow Miller's gun and meet me at the gate in five minutes and whatever you do, do not tell Octavia." I sighed, gesturing my hand toward the drop ship.

A few minutes later Raven returned with a gun slung over her shoulder and my sister at her side.

I opened my mouth but Octavia cut me off before I could make a sound, "Look big brother, I know you just want to keep me safe but Clarke happens to be my best friend and I happen to know a grounder who might be able to help us locate her rather than us just thoughtlessly crashing through the bush with absolutely no idea where we're going."

I stared at her, my mind somersaulting over what she'd just said, "How the hell do you _know _a grounder?" I choked out.

**Let me know what cha think! XXX**


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